Husband has stage IV cancer

Joe, that is so awesome that you are now cancer free!!!! Thanks so much for the positive words, it gives me new hope!!! We are fighting this thing with everything we have, and will not quit!! It just seems we take one step forward, and 3 steps back! Ben now has pneumonia and is sick as a dog, but getting IV antibiotics and is actually starting to feel better now. His second cycle of chemo starts tomorrow, I hope its not too rough on him wiht the pneumonia!!
I too am 52, and my husband is 47. We have 2 daughters and 4 grandbabies, and we both plan to be around when they get married too!!
Best of luck to you, enjoy your life, and bless you!!!
Paula

Dang Paula I wish you the best. Last Sept I had to get my left hip replaced and after I was done with that at the end of Nov. I find out Dec 7 or so I have a bladder tumor about 3 inches I'm thinking 'bleep bleep bleep' nice Christmas present. I quit drinking 4 years ago to bring peace back to the family and then I start getting attacked by other diseases. I know drinking isn't the best thing in the world but I did like my beer and driving them trucks. I'm no angel but I worked hard and made descent money and thought by the time I hit my age now 53 I be taking an easier ride well anything but. You know I got 3 sons and at my age they be older which they are and the wife and I could start doing things together no such luck. Well I know it ain't easy on a daily basis I was dx 1/6 and went thru pre-op chemo first then the surgery I was T3 G3 and on 8/3 I find out I am cancer free as of now. I have read many stories about stage IV and that does not mean the end of the road and there is proof out there of folks now being cancer free that were stage IV it's a fight but one that can be won. I wish you the best and just have a good feeling things are going to turn for the better. Pray & Fight, Joe

I am truly saddened to read about those & there families facing stage IV bladder cancer, you are all in my thoughts & prayers, gather strenth from each other, & fight the good fight, as mentioned try not to think about satistics & percentages, easy to say, not so easy to do. You all have a number of people thinking & praying for you,
Wishing you all the best,
Cathy

Hi Karen, Maureen and Susan,
It just amazes me everytime I log on here and find more people with the same life as I have right now! Its just mind boggleing! My Ben had been having blood in his urine (without letting me know) for a couple of years, and had previously had kidney stones and chalked it up to that. When we came back from vacation in march is when he finally told me about the blood. I had him at the dr. office right away, they did a ct scan, then went to urologist who did cystoscopy the next week, and told us he had 2 large tumors and needed the radical cystectomy. That was scheduled for june 25, was going to have a neo-bladder, but the surgeon called me half way thru surgery saying it was in his nodes. took the bladder anyway and said he needed chemo asap. so now he has a pouch, and we are both fine with that. at first, we were told he had a 6% chance of survival, and now the oncologist we are seeing gave us a little more hope with 30% chance. They are all just numbers to me now, and we are fighting with everything we have and then some! right now, he has only had one cycle of chemo and its kicking his butt big time! he gets
one week----gemzar
second week---gemzar & carboplatin
third week----off
then it starts over...the gemzar wasnt so bad on him, but the carboplatin is the worst!! he runs a high temp everyday, is so tired and weak, he staggers when he walks, and is so short of breath and now wheezing and rattling! I have calls into the dr. right now and just waiting for a call back..or I will take him to er this afternoon..much to his dislike!!
This is just one nightmare after another and is so hard to cope with! but, we do what we have to do and keep on keeping on..I read so many heart breaking stories on here, and uplifting ones too, and its just so amazing that before april, I really had never heard of bladder cancer, and now, its my whole life!
I am rambling..guess I feel the need to...nothing else to do right now but wait for dr. to call and Ben is sleeping, so here I sit..waiting...worrying, depressed, anxious, angry, hurting, living life the best I can..
thanks to all the wonderful people here helping me get thru this...reading me and letting me vent...again..
paula

Hi Maureen and Susan,

I saw you were both new, and was sorry to read you also have husbands with advanced bladder cancer. I want to wish you both much strength in the coming time and hope that the treatments give quality time to your husbands.

No, you aren't alone with this problem, I continue to be amazed at how many people, young and old, male and female, who sign up here and are fighting advanced disease. I don't know how things can get that far without any hint of trouble, but the sorry fact is that a good percentage of people don't get diagnosed until bladder cancer is at a late stage and with no symptoms beforehand.

It's weird...the majority of blc patients have low grade, low stage tumors that are found before any invasion happens, but about 20% of cases are advanced at diagnosis. That is why bladder cancer is known as a sneaky, insidious cancer.

All the best to you and the others posting on this thread.
Wendy

Paula,

I know exactly where you are coming from. My husband, also 47 was diagnosed on June 21. He was scheduled for surgery, when further tests indicated that it had spread to the pelvic lymph nodes, and the bones in his pelvis, upper right arm, ribs, etc...Surgery was no longer an option, and he just finished his first round of chemo. We are off this week, he is getting the same combo as your husband. His schedule is:

week 1----Gemzar/Cispatin for 4 hrs.
week 2----Gemzar for an hour
week 3----Gemzar for an hour
week 4 off

then the cycle starts again. I know how devastating it is. We have a total of 8 kids, Ranging in age from 3 to 25. We also have a granddaughter born this past March. I am so upset most days, mad others, and depressed on the off days. I try to smile, and keep a good sense of humor, but most people don't look at the fact that we are dying in a way too. Everything that we know has been taken from us, and we don't know if we will get it back. Chemo is tough too, it is like the cancer, and the drugs are having a fight over who gets to kill him first. I try to think of every ache, pain, sweats, nausea, diharea, etc...as the cancer coming out. He is so possitive most of the time, but does have his moments as any of us would. Keep the faith. Living means dying too. Whatever the outcome in a day a week, a year, or five years, make today awesome! It is all we have, there are no guarantees...with any of it. Feel free to email me, or I will even give you my phone number if you want to talk.

In my thoughts,
Karen