Husband has stage IV cancer

Paula, I am stunned and saddened. We all think about death, but for many of us it is still an abstract concept--something to ponder. You've just made it very personal, and I thank you for your words and story and grieve for your loss.

Zach

hi everybody..i just wanted to let you all know that my ben lost his battle with this vile thing called cancer on thursday, sept. 20. he had gone into the hospital with pneumonia, they found he had fungus in his blood, he couldnt breathe easliy or speak easily and just went downhill so fast..he was in exactly 2 weeks and finally just took his last breath, while i was holding him in my arms..we laid him to rest with full military honors sunday and i am still in total disbelief, anger, lonely, lost and just dont know how i will get along without my other half here with me. ben was only 47 by the way, diagnosed in april..this sure isnt the outcome we expected and i just hurt sooooo bad...
just wanted you all to know..i have found a few friends on here, and will try to continue to keep up with you all...
take care,
paula

Your dad is an inspiration!!!! And you are so right....each new year brings new developments in treatment. I have so many people tell me they had chemo 10 and 15 years ago and how horrible it was. I just can't identify because, while it has been no walk in the park, it hasn't been that awful, for me anyway. And I do recognize it is different for every person, so I don't want to belittle those that have a hard time with it...but aside from the heck gemzar raises with the blood and the yuckiness of cisplatin for about six days and the hearing loss and tinnitus, it really hasn't been that bad.

Hi there all,
Whew rough reading through these post and inspiring all at the same time.
My Dad has stge 4. He also had it spread to lymph nodes. The doc put it like this" well if it's going to spread anywhere better there then any organ involvement" because it is less complicated to treat obviously. That helped us put things in perspective. He went through the chemo (his 2nd time on chemo) and it did what it was supposed to do. He has been without palpable cancer for 3 going into 4 months possibly right now. He was diagnosed 3 years ago I believe so hang in there and hold on to each moment you have. We use humor a lot to get through all of it. I can see the Dr's also really appreciate his humor. He keeps us all laughing. The pee-pee and diaper jokes never stop. Also each day and month that goes by is more time for better treatment to evolve.

Hey, Friends! I had an oncology appt this morning...bad news was that I have to wait another week for treatment because my blood was just barely recovered from the last combo (ciplatin/gemzar) and he didn't feel it was safe to do the big one...so I have to wait till next week. It throws my whole calendar for the next two months off...but I shouldn't be trying to act like everything is pre-cancer...but it's such a habit for me to project!!!

Anyway I asked him about the weight gain. This is his take...when you get cancer and before it is diagnosed, you tend to lose weight because the cancer takes the nourishment and your body has a type of anorexic effect. But as you get diagnosed and start the chemo and it starts attacking the cancer...the nourishment goes back to feeding your body. Plus, to calm the quesiness that a lot of us feel we tend to eat. And I know that part is true for me, especially after the cisplatin. I don't know about breast cancer, but for bladder and cisplatin/gemzar we don't get that much steroid. The fatigue tends to keeps us from our usual movement and exercise like I used to do. So, I guess it explains some of it for me...plus the fact that I just like food!!!

He assures me that after chemo, if I go back to my exercising and watching what I eat, I should lose weight. Easy for him to say, he is the thinnest person I have seen in a long time!!! Wouldn't you know??? 57, menopausal, short, likes food and cancer to boot! I guess I will have two new challenges after chemo...losing weight and staying alive another year! What more could any woman ask for??? Hang loose, Friends....without the humor where would we be?

Wendy, My cousin who had a double mastectomy a year ago also had weight gain which was credited to the steroids and the chemo. Gee, hard to believe you gained 60 pounds you look so svelte now. Rosie