Husband has stage IV cancer

Wendy...just wondered if the weight gain is from the steroids given to offset inflammation in chemo? Pat

Hi Emom,

It's so weird but I've heard this from many women---we gain weight on chemo. A well-known fact in breast cancer-land. And yes, it's hard for people to understand you're actually dealing with cancer and chemo, like you said they expect to see a gaunt person.

I'm a breast cancer survivor and my treatments caused me to gain 60 lbs in the first year! ANd I was already chunky to begin with. Those treatments lasted 5 yrs total and I felt rotten the whole time. But still here so can't complain (well, I do but I shouldn't).

I want to say hi to the newcomers, Tamala and Jerry's Girl, sorry you needed to find us, but welcome to the forum.

My best wishes to all here,
Wendy

Pat, Emom, Sam, Holly & Joe,
You guys are great. Thank you so much for all the feedback and the sharing of what you've been through. We're not alone on here! I really had no idea a place such as this existed. What a blessing! Today, John seems almost normal, which is sort of a 'new normal' since he was diagnosed with cancer. He's off chemo this week and I now see the need to have that break between cycles. Those of you going through chemo that manage to post on here- wow, hats off to you! Those of you that have presevered through all the treatments- you have so much strength, you probably don't even realize it. I have a new respect for anyone that has gone through chemo. People just don't realize what you've gone through, or what you're going through.
~Susan

I totally agree with everything said. I start my fifth cycle tomorrow and I have planned everything around it. I plan to be out of it for about seven days. I am not totally sure what to expect as each cycle has been different. I just can't predict anything. The third cycle was the worst but then the fourth wasn't as bad except that I had to skip the third gemzar because my platelets were too low.

For me, the inconvenience of not knowing what to expect and not being able to predict is tough. I will say this again...after the cisplatin, a fog comes over me and I get very dark and depressed and that is not me. But, when the fog lifts, I am much better and even wonder myself who that cisplatin person was. But while I am going thru it, I can't seem to control it. I hate it but have come to expect it and warn everyone about it and they now expect it and aren't as thrown off by it.

I also worry a little about the future...as I mentioned I am a planner and I like to have my calendar filled to about six months out. Cancer has made me not be quite so much so as I really don't know what to expect after the chemo. I am trying to not be so "planned and committed" and just focus on getting well. But, in some ways having a lot to look forward to helps me not be so focused on what might happen. I see each day that I feel good as a gift and each day that I don't feel good, I figure is insurance against the cancer having its way with me. I sure don't feel close to death...so I am really trying to live life to the fullest.

But there is one thing I know...I won't let cancer get the best of me till God decides He's done with me here. I still think He has work for me to do and so I intend to "git er done"!!!

Susan

My heart and my thoughts are with you. It is a very difficult time for both of you. My husband went through chemo about 6 months ago but he only had Cisplatin and Gemzar. That was rough enough but the third chemo must add an even greater wallop for your husband. Try not to take his "not being there" personally. Just surviving through it takes all of his and your strength. What can make it feel even more difficult is that our spouse is often also our best friend so both are not present at the same time. If you need emotional support don't hesitate to ask. This board is wonderful.
Good luck, Sam

Hi Susan,

I did 4 months of cisplatin/gemzar after my cystectomy/neobladder....it has been 6 weeks since the last dose. During that time I know I felt sick - threw up daily the last 2 months. I felt weak, tired, and out of sorts. I also was apparently confused and easily overwhelmed- I forgot to make payments, and I was easily confused over the simplest things. I was subject to moodiness - watching your hair fall out is tough, and the sense of loss - work, friends, driving, - seemed endless at times. I am doing better 6 weeks out of chemo - but my hair still is falling out.
Hang in there like you are - chemo is like going on the dark side of the moon.
You guys are in my prayers, Holly