Checking In

I cannot address the "unnecessary surgery" issue here but can tell you that my husband who did have an RC w/IC diversion back in mid August had an umilical hernia repair in the mid '90s with mess installed during the hernia surgery. We were concerned about that with all the various Davinci ports etc. There were NO problems with that at all. My hope is your husband is as fortunate. I will offer prayer for a peace of mind for you and your husband as it sounds as if you have really been through the mill! I am so very sorry for that.

Not sure what to say to help you convince him that he's playing with fire by waiting. As you know, he should have had it long ago.

Tell him you are happy to turn over control of the likely outcome of continued procrastination. Tell him you are NOT interested in shopping for caskets or plots. He can go work on that himself and just let you know what he decides on. (ARGH!) Maybe just cook for yourself and clean up after yourself and let him cook his own meals and clean up after himself and tell him you're just practicing for when he's dead since he seems to be so hell bent on taking the path that will likely get him dead. I know it sounds harsh and you won't do it anyway but this husband of yours really needs a whack upside the head (figuratively).

It's frustrating for us just to read. I can't even imagine how frustrating this is for you.

Pat can probably find info on Dr. Chin.

The mesh should not get in the way, but they should know what was done and why so they don't mess anything up. You can call the hospital that did his stomach surgery and get the records whenever you want. You don't have to tell your husband that you called. Tell him the hospital called and they need him to sign a release for the documents. Alternatively, if Dr. Chin has already requested the records, you could call the hospital (without you-know-who knowing about it) and push on the hospital to get the records faxed to Dr. Chin asap. Typically, surgeons should be able to get those records in a very short time so it's surprising they say it will take so long.

Good luck!
Mike

Yes, the very same. He's much taller in person

I'll call the hospital on Monday . . . it's not the VA. It's up the street from where we live.

The doctor that's doing his surgery is Doctor Chin from UCLA. Aronson said he's one of the highest ranking surgeons there for this kind of surgery, but I'm not sure what to believe anymore.

Getting a second opinion is not something I'm against . . . but if it's not his idea, he's not gonna go. He's already sure I'm the Wicked Witch of the West. I've lost all credibility with him at this point. He wants me to back off and mind my own business. He wants more control over his decisions regarding his health and less input from me.

If I go behind his back and call Aronson and ask him to get these records ASAP, I'll be sleeping on the couch.

Yes, I'm loosing my tact as well as my mind . . . I think they're interchangeable.

Dr. William Aronson...really? who studies soy and prostate cancer?
www.uclahealth.org/body.cfm?id=479&action=detail&ref=10755
you can easily get your records on your husbands previous surgery if you know the dates and the hospital and happen to have saved his patient number. Its all electronic these days unless its at the VA........you should be able to call and sign for it. The cut for a cystectomy should not be as high as his stomach.
anyway he's not going to listen...but if you've got 2 weeks to get old records why not just call USC/Norris where they actually know what they are doing and have 4 on staff that can do an expert job and if you explain the situation might get in right away???????????????
Since intern cut into his in situ at the urethra.......i'm not even going there.............
This is his LIFE...its not a wart.....who does this surgery matters BIG TIME.........
I've completely lost all my tact haven't i? I'm really tired of losing people.
pat

Thanks JW, We went to the doctor today and we were supposed to have a sit down with Dr. Bergman and Doctor Aranson.

They are both Urologists and it was nightmare. . . not like the last few months haven't been, I thought we were supposed to meet with the surgery doctors.

I was furious with the fact that this last surgery shouldn't even have happened; that he should have gone straight to a cystectomy, but Dr. Bergman, who we found out is still an Intern and was advising my husband what to do this entire time, offered Carl this surgery to take out the tumors instead of a cystectomy and I had no idea he'd told my husband this and my husband told me that the surgery was necessary.

Then, it was Dr. Bergman who suggested he get CT's and BCG's after this surgery because there was no sign of cancer.

Well, we come to find out that Dr. Aranson, who is his Superior, never, ever told Dr. Bergmen to do any of this. He had wanted my husband to get a Cystectomy from the beginning.

Dr. Aranson said that in situ is so incidious, that even if this surgery got all the tumors out, that patients can come back in less then a month and the in situ has spread through out their bodies, that's how fast it travels.

As far as Dr. Aranson is concerned, we're sitting on a powder keg, which is what I've been trying desperately to convince my husband of the last 3 months.

Now, he's still trying to recover from this unecessary surgery and the doctor who did that surgery took out some in situ that was right on the edge of the outside wall of his urethra.

There's no time for a second opinion. There's no time for anything. Dr. Aranson told us he'd turn us over to the surgeon who will be doing the surgery, which I pointed out should have been done 3 months ago.

I think Aranson was trying to protect Bergman. He said he was a brilliant man and I said "Really? Well, his brilliance might just kill my husband." I was really pissed off by then. I told him this was very badly managed and he agreed, but at least he got us on our way to the next step.

There's another fly in the soup as well. My husband had a bad car accident in 2002 that almost killed him. His stomach imploded and the doctors had to put netting in his stomach, and it might get in the way of the cystectomy.

We already checked with the surgeon who did this and he said it shouldn't be a problem, but we have to get those records and all the records of the subsequent surgeries related to this. The hospital said it's going to take 2 weeks to get these records.

I suggested we call the bladder surgeon and have him call the hospital and try and get them to expedite them, but my husband got angry with me and told me to stop trying to control everything; to let him have some control and say so in the matter.

Maybe I need to back off on some things, but I can't help worrying about the lack of time we have and getting as much infomration as we can is critical.

Rayn

Wow, Rayn, first let me tell you how very sorry I am that you and your husband both have been through such a bad time. If your husband is not wanting to have an RC that may not be in his best interest. It is HUGE surgery, my husband went through it back in August and is now doing very well. It just sounds to me like you are getting a big run around and I agree with those who have said that getting another opinion is so very important and with doctors who are very familiar with surgery and treatment of BC. Let us hear how things go with the doctors and know that we are all here for you!