the operation

Thanks for the encouragement. Warren and I talked and now. And thanks "George" we are now the TEAM. I am feeling much better now knowing for sure what page he is on. We are dealing with this together. He is trudging thru this neo bladder thing with determination. Sincerely, Donna

I am thinking of you and your hubby, Donna. Hopefully, you will
see some improvements . You are a team as has been said, but
Please know you are not alone, if it helps, we are here thinking
And praying for your team.

Nancy

Donna
I have been here sparingly over the last few weeks and just as I looked in, I saw You. The Operation caught me. I know "The Operation" and I was hoping to see a happy, cancer free, good news story.

However, your story brought me back to reality..... Quick!

I am sorry this is so late. I wish I had seen this 2 weeks ago. You deserve more.

But one thing got me. You said this is about your husband. Yes that is true. But it is also about You. I am assuming you are the TEAM; Get Over cancer! It is an equal partnership of you and Warren. You will find it harder on you than it is on Warren.
As a neo bladder recipient myself, I know that My Wife Audrey suffered as much if not more than I did. Oh yeah! I had the surgery, but I knew how I was improving. Audrey just knew that she was suffering right along with me but always hurt worse than I did. I could feel each day that I was getting better. She didn't know until I told her.
After 4 months, I was finally back together again, well 90% back. Audrey had a crushing week of breakdown. She had been through the operation (11 hours)wide awake (I slept) She worried about me 24/7. I didn't cuz I could feel the healing pain, and I knew I was going to live. She hurt all the time with worry and fear.
Oh yes, This is a TEAM SPORT.

So Please talk to Warren. Make him Spill his heart out to you. He will be emotional (I was) but once you get him talking about this..... The easier it will make the recovery. I am convinced that our marriage increased in love and friendship because we made a concious decision to "TALK about IT!"

I am sorry the operation had it's complications. Please Don't let that turn you away from each other. Rather, let it pull you into a greater bond together.

I know I sound like a preacher, but I'm really not. I am a Car dealer who had cancer, and found a whole new life after. I still have complications from my surgery 5 years ago. But you have, hopefully, a cancer free life to look forward to after recovery. And the sex is going to change for sure. But wasn't it always improvised all along? Now it will be different. But you will find a way.

It will be a struggle for sure. It will have the best of times and the worst of times. But, If you attack it as a TEAM, you will find that this struggle will ring out the best in each other(and the worst at times) and that life goes on for both of you.

Sorry to see you here. Much love and prayers to you. It is OK to be really PISSED OFF. Just come back to earth and realize that you are still here and life goes on.

Sincerely
George Kline

Warren has had his operation 11-4-2013. He has an ileal neo bladder,he is in ICU,doing well. The Dr. could not do nerve sparing as he nicked the bowel, as he removed the bladder. Now, he is facing another surgery, some time after healing to have a prosthetic device placed. What a mess. I as his wife, I am not handling this , all that well. It has been a painfully hard road to travel with him and this aweful CANCER that has caused this. But with God's wisdom,strength,guidance, patience.endurance we will arrive victoriously to the purpose God has for our married life together. Please continue prayer for his healing, and the return of my sanity. I will update our progress as we travel along, as I feel the wives also NEED to have someone that they can cling to on their terrible journey's thru this horrible diagnosis. I will gladly come along side those who are in need of comfort, since I have had no one, since this is " Not about Me". Sincerely, Donna McQuiggan