Need help in Wayne's World

Zachery,
That was such a good response and really caught my eye.
My husband did not have the option to have surgery, hopefully they can just get his in remission.
Every day is a blessing.
Clara

Patty, one very good thing is that the surgery is scheduled. Men are funny creatures--we may not like a certain destination, but if we have a schedule and an appointment, we'll show up.

Cancer is one of life's ultimate wake-up calls, and if we pay attention we don't just get well, we can become better. In Wayne's case, all indications are that he needs surgery. There is just no getting around that. No one here wanted it, and I don't think anyone dreaded it more than I did. Now, a year later, I can hardly remember it.

Our life is a sand painting writ large. We can't control every stroke and nuance, but what we can control we should control. Wayne, bladder cancer is not only health critical, it's time critical. And, I guarantee, within two weeks of October 22nd you'll be home watching television on the couch. Within a month you'll be wondering what you were ever worried about.

Zach

Patty,,,, dittos,,, CALL ZACKARY,,,,,,HE IS YOUR LINK, SAME AGE GROUP ETC.
WAYNE WILL BE UP AND GOING IN NO TIME AFTER SURGERY....
WHATS MORE IMPORTANT, FACING RECOVERY, OR KEEPING THE CANCER!
LOVE TO YOU BOTH,
Ginger

Patty...please have Wayne call Zachary..i know he gave him his cell phone number. He can give him everything he needs to know about a neo-bladder and the male perspective from someone who's been there and in exactly the same place as your husband.
Nobody wants to do the surgery....NObody...but we do it because its our only chance at survival. I can give you names of wives of husbands who waited too long or didn't have the surgery but my guess is you don't want that.
If he's picked a top notch institution and a top notch surgeon who performs these all the time he will do fine...the interruption to his life will be minimal when you consider the big picture.
Everyone has a different version of recovery. The younger you are the faster you're up and about it seems.
Call zachary! Pat

Patty,,, Good to hear from you. Glad to hear he has a significant other...I think he has been in denial, yes? I know the feeling, when the doctor's call came to the waiting room to me after the first turb, I was in shock, bladder cancer, what no polyp, infection?? It's devastating for sure, I kept thinking as we waited for the 2nd turb at the Cleveland Clinic something would change, go away, forget about it. I actually said to my husband , lets just pretend we didn't do any of this, and go on a long vacation. Well running away from it wasn't an option. But you and he must have faith in what he has been told. Everyone on this forum has been thru it for there spouse or the person themselves. We can help you if your open to it, and him if he would not be so scared. My husband is 66, today, 3rd week out from surgery he is doing good, not great but on schedule. Wayne is young, yes? Stick by him and you will conquer this for sure. I would like to know 4 things, in short, how old is he, what stage is his tumor, has it involved any other places, what is his choice on deversion. Then we can support all those issues, and guide you with lots of info..thats why were here!! He needs alot of compassion, as he is scared, when your on the other side of surgery things will be much better. I thought I would have to knock my husband out 2 days before and sneek him into the clinic already out of it.
Let us help you! Ginger Beane
Have Wayne read my posts during surgery, he will know what to expect. Forum is Gene Beane...

Hey Ginger!

Wayne is scheduled for surgery on October 22nd, but he still does not want to have this surgery. I was so happy to see all the responses to his story and I was hoping it would help him to come to terms with what we need to do, but he is still telling me he does not want to have the surgery. I know he is scared and I know it's not my body, but he is my husband and I don't want to loose him. I continue to support and encourage him, but I am scared. I will keep you posted.

Patty
(Wayne's Wife)