Hi and welcome,
You and your sister found out something valuable right away, to keep good track of things like your records. It's scary to think the surgeon had no idea of the stone problems...
If you can, it would help to get all your records copied and scan reports and have your scans sent to the new doctor.
Try not to panic too much because surgery can cure squamous cell bladder cancer, as it does other types as well. the most important factor is how aggressive the tumor is/was and whether there is any spread to lymph nodes seen after the surgery,'grade and stage' (more info
blcwebcafe.org/staging.asp
Cystectomy can take up to ten hours but is a very survivable surgery. It's no walk in the park, that's for sure though. Experience is very important so ask the surgeon how many procedures he's done..there are a few types of diversions: the external pouch, the 'internal' or Indiana-type pouch and the neobladder. These are discussed on the main site here:
blcwebcafe.org/cystectomy.asp
Sometimes people can choose their preferred type, but it's often up to either the dr's expertise or the location of the tumor and that decides what type of diversion you will get.
If you aren't thrilled with your current doctor, you could try another opinion or switching doctors. If you're close to UPenn, some of the best are there. When the diagnosis is cancer, and especially a rare one, it's good to get uro-oncologists involved. There's a difference between a uro, an oncologist and a uro-oncologist. And it's not bad to be at a cancer center where the latest and greatest diagnostics are available.
We have a bit about squamous cell blc on the 'rare tumor' page:
blcwebcafe.org/raretypes.asp
There are women on this forum who have had all 3 types of bladder removal surgeries. Feel free to ask whatever it is you are wondering.
By the way, you may or may not qualify for reproductive organ-sparing cystectomy; it depends on tumor location, but it's becoming more and more common for (esp. younger) women to get this newer procedure which spares early menopause, if you are pre-menopausal. Another reason an experienced uro-surgeon is a good thing to have.
Wishing you well,
Wendy