emotional side of cancer ?

Holly I think this a question for you to ask your Dr. here. I was just googling to see if I could find anything to help you out and most seemed to point to the ovary but do not hold me to this. Anytime I am told a bigger word or don't quite understand I immediately ask what are you talking about here. Some Dr's use big medical terms and I say now Doc you want to tell me in english what you just said . Best Wishes, Joe

Just one other thing I wanted to get some opinions on...on my path report they talk about micropapillary architechture. What does it mean and where is info on it. Not sure if it signifies a deviation from grade 3 T2b treatment protocol. Thanks and Bless all Holly

Good luck and all the best from me too Mz!

Tim

MZ it sure sounds like things are coming along better for you now. I wish you best with your CT Scan of chest and also Bone Scan I was nervous about these 2 tests but all turned out fine as I am sure they will for you. Yes this disease does change everything in your life but unfortuantely there is nothing we can do about it. I am just fighting as hard as I can to try and beat this and I have some fairly good odds and try to get my life back to somewhat normal. But then I have days am I going to beat this or what you know little things always gotta toy with your mind. I am an x-trucker and no matter where I have to go for whatever my wife drives lol I was always the driver. I am going the reverse route here getting my chemo first and then have my bladder removed as my Dr. feels in my case this will be the most beneficial way of me to beat this disease. I had one chemo sessions already and I told my wife I think I'll be ok to drive to the next one she said no way I will take you. Her support is amazing she is an lpn so I guess I'll just take advantage of the TLC lol. I am just doing everything my Dr's tell me like this chemo before the surgery. I questioned this and when he explained it having the chemo first does make the most sense in my case. My tumor is contained in bladder and did not spread to any lymphnodes or organs and as he put it let's keep it that way do 3 cycles of chemo then the surgery. This is my best shot as you said hearing the words "disease free". Good luck MZ hang tuff, fight tuff, and good things will come. Lastly there is one thing I read and it is and makes sense use your energy to help heal yourself instead of wasting it worrying about something that might never happen. Your Friend, Joe

It seems to me that when bladder cancer was diagnosed, it changed everything. I had surgery within 36 hours and a cath/bag for 10 days. Then surgery 4 days later. I haven't been at my job since I was diagnosed. I haven't been able to do much of my usual since the pain became great back in December. No sledding down the hills, no bowling, I am not sure I should have a glass of wine anymore. And with all the drs touching "there" then doing unpleasant things ...well that and other aspects have certainly dampened the "honeymoon" time we aught to be having. Normal ain't normal anymore.

Prior to this, I wasn't given to much negative emotional energy either. My son served a tour in Iraq in the Army...that was emotional. He is my only child and I raised him primarily alone. It is hell to get a rare phone call from your son when you hear the gunfire in the background. When he called from Georgia to say he was on US soil - my first breath was different and I relaxed finally. I am waiting for that moment now with this. Does it ever happen. I want to hear "disease free" more than anything.

To focus on the positive, I think this has prompted people close to me to drop the petty stuff. My Mom and I are finally getting on better. She is not focusing on what she wants to change about me - never thought that would happen EVER lol. And I can clearly see the "angels and the bolters" ...it is an amazing revalation on relationships. One friend I have had for 14-15 years - I have even been the gaurdian for her son - bolted and has distanced herself so far and so fast. I was so suprised.

Well, today is the bone scan and chest CT...I thought I would have to put on my big girl panties and do it by myself...Hubby decided to go in early to work then meet me to just be with me there I knew our love was of substance before we wed, but the bond being made as we face this together makes me sure we can stand against anything. Hubby is also going to call today to get answers from the Dr. He is an electrical engineer and feels he will less likely to get put off by the nurses because he deals with ruffled feathers frequently.

By the way, the English here may have a different way of handling all this emotional cancer stuff...but I sure think you are AOK in my book   Thanks for sharing and being so compassionate as always and God Bless you all.

Blimey, you've had a rough time Pat! Your son's age was similar to mine when I had BC diagnosed. I was 29. Always the youngest person on the ward by a long way! I think. I went to boarding school at the age of 6 and it was considered really bad form to cry. But at 6 it's really hard not to so I did. Then you get the jokes about canoes etc. Sadly it was still considered unmanly for men of my era to be seen emoting. I like to think things have improved/are improving but I guess it's a slow process. The ward thing was really quite shocking because I sort of knew for me that it was coming and that it would take anything to set me off and then I wouldn't be able to stop. Which is sort of why I asked my partner not to come in! And I was doing pretty well biting my lips and staring intently out the window. For a few days really. Then this nurse came over and said to me "Tim, when you get out of here you have to just forget about all this and get on with your life". And that was when I burst into tears. Then I heard sobbing coming from behind one of the curtains and knew it was A, a 76 year old man - in for the same procedure. And then P appeared and told me with watery eyes that he's been feeling the same. We never talked about it after that but I think we were all a lot jollier that afternoon! I found it particularly hard seeing an older man cry because I was thinking that this guy had been through so much in his life...we must really be in trouble right now!

Best Wishes

Tim