emotional side of cancer ?

Hi
Like the others have said you will be surprised who sticks around and who runs a mile.On the whole most of my friends were and are great.We could have stocked the freezer for months on the offers of dinners cakes etc.
My sister in law is still the only real bolter which I can live with she has been through alot herself and I am sure at some point she will come back.
As an English girl I apologise for the English bolter and I am glad you found counselling Tim.I was offered a session at diagnosis but really wondered how much good one session would do.
Take care Love Claire x

Pat
On behalf of the English nation, I'd like to apologise for your English bolters We're not all like that! I had a few like that though and you're right about Wendy hitting the nail on the head. It's also amazing how some people who you didn't think of as friends really come through for you in situations like this. Cancer can really be a massive education!

Tim

Think its that way with illness even if its not cancer you find who your friends are some just cant be bothered when you are sick no matter how you were there for them.

I am so sorry about your husband Pat it must have been very hard for you after going through all your surgery to then lose him. you have the wonderful memeories that he was there for you all through your surgery.

Wendy you hit the nail on the head...angels and bolters. And truthfully i had angels i didn't know about.....2 more like casual acquaintances came to my aid after surgery..cleaned my house every week...brought me food........who knew? And some of my closer friends ..one of whom is English...Bolted!!! And i held her hand all thru her entire divorce....so you just never know.
I was so lucky in that i had the love and support of my amazing husband who just passed away. He never left my side at the hospital and tho he couldn't so much as make a piece of toast he brought me Starbucks every day. The pain from his leaving me is far greater than any cancer or surgery. Pat

Hey Claire
I'm English and I did go to counselling. I think it's hard to find a good one here though and I think you are right about us being a bit different. Not maybe as different as people think. My counsellor worked within the Bristol Cancer Help Centre and so was experienced in dealing with cancer patients. Which was good. I stopped going because my treatment reached a plateau (for a while) and she suggested that I didn't need it at that juncture. I think it was useful while it lasted.

Tim

Hi
I was going to post then saw your last response.For me the time since diagnosis has been a roller coaster one day its yes I am strong and empowered I can deal with this the next the exact opposite.
I am English and we deal with things very differently tending to keep emotions in a lot more than are friends on the other side of the Atlantic.Counselling isnt really an option and friends and family are the main support.I find it really hard to be open about my feelings and fears with them and often put on a brave face or stiff upper lip to protect them.Sometimes that helps me too if you can pretend everything is fine often it is.
I dont really know what I am trying to say here other than you will have good and bad days.This board is great I feel I can come here and let my true feelings loose without causing havoc and upset for those closest.Sometimes telling yourself things are ok putting your lipstick on and highest sexiest boots and pretending that it is is the best way of getting through the day.
You sound like a really positive person and as if you have good support so you will get through it and on the otherside whenever you reach it you will still be you probably a bit more vulnerable but still you.
Good luck Claire xx