Feeling blue & an update on Bob

Lorrie,
I know that I am late but yes, you do have a right to feel blue.

When we first visited the urologist we switched to I was certainly blue and so was Bob by the time we left. Sometimes things just do not even need to be said.
Bob has been a different person ever since that trip and it is hard to even get a smile out of him sometimes.

You will miss your children while they are traveling but I know you want them to continue their lives and their love and support will be with you no matter where they are.

Hang in there!

Clara

Lorrie, It is so devastating to have a problem and know that a remedy exists for the condition and then be told you can't have the remedy. I hope you can find someone to help treat the hernia.

Anyway I responded to your post because another source of irritability is depression. I would suggesting having Bob evaluated for depression. Being in Chroni Pain is hard on people and many people become depressed while living with severe pain. The anti-depressant has really helped Dick. Julie

Gosh Lorrie...hernias are one of the complications of cystectomy in a small percentage and they usually get fixed and being near the navel its nowhere near his new plumbing?? I'd certainly find that laproscopic surgeon. I just don't know how things work in Canada..i don't know if you have choices in surgeons?
I'd sure check into his Bl2...they often ignore that test. My urologists thankfully did not and were quite surprized that i depleted my supply so quickly. I just posted a link for Julieann on symptoms as her mothers personality has changed pretty drastically. Hey its the cheapest test around..tell them to humor you and do it.
Best to you both.........Pat

Thank you Patricia for the info. We have a meeting with the Oncologist in Kitchener on Mon. so I will ask for another opinion. The hernia is located on the left side of the navel & is very painful when he coughs, sneezes or exerts himself & just always painful breathing. The Oncologist felt that the bowel could get 'pinched' & create problems with blockage etc. The surgeon felt that since the bladder surgery was so complex,any attempt to repair the hernia may result in damage to the neobladder or the 'plumbing'. Given his life expectancy (estimated at 1 yr. with the Chemo & 6 mos. without), she didn't feel it was worth the risks.

On another topic, i've been reading posts about B12. Could a B12 deficiency cause this personality change? He is opinionated, rude, almost beligerent & very sarcastic. When I call him on it he snaps at me with things like 'I gues i shouldn't say anything at all because everything I say & do is wrong".- any thoughts? It wouldn't matter too much to me except that we look after an apartment building & we must be polite & understanding with the residents. I'm worried about this attitude of his. We can't afford to get fired.

Regards, Lorrie

Gee Lorrie...where is the hernia located...lower or by the navel? This kind of surgery can be done laproscopically.......why not research surgeons and get another opinion? Pat
Just did some looking and granted Canada is unfamiliar territory for me but found this surgeon and institution? I would have PM you but apparently there is no way to do that anymore.......
Mehran Anvari, MB BS, PhD, FRCSC, FACS
St. Joseph's Healthcare Hamilton - McMaster University,
Hamilton, CANADA
Associate Editor on WebSurg.com

Prof. Mehran Anvari received a Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery from the University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne, United Kingdom in 1983 and a PhD from the University of Adelaide, Australia in 1996.

In 1999, Prof. Mehran Anvari spearheaded the Centre for Minimal Access Surgery (CMAS), a McMaster University Centre located at St. Joseph's Healthcare in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. CMAS is a centre that develops telemedicine technologies to help Canadian physicians in isolated communities gain better access to the latest medical knowledge, techniques and specialists. Prof. Anvari is currently a professor in the department of surgery at McMaster and since 1999, is also the Director of the Centre for Minimal Access Surgery.

In 2003, Prof. Anvari, at St. Joseph's Healthcare successfully performed the world's first hospital-to-hospital telerobotics-assisted surgery on a patient in North Bay, Ontario, nearly 400 kilometres away from Hamilton.

Lorrie,

Sounds like you have reason to feel blue. It is hard being a caregiver and then to be told that he wasn't a candidate for the surgery had to hurt. We are here for you to vent to so don't ever feel bad. Right now I am not a caregiver, but I have been one in the past. It is hard work. Jusst know that there are those that will listen and lend a shoulder.

Webs