I'm sitting here at the computer, realizing that I was probably stuck at the "bargaining" phase of grieving......if I could just get through my husband's surgery, if we could just get through chemo, if we could just get through the nephrostomy, if we could just get through the second surgery, if we could just get our lives back on track.....
and then the doctors found an enlarged thyroid. And he had an ultrasound. And they didn't find anything.
So we went four weeks, and had another ultrasound. And they found some enlarged nodes.
So he had a fine needle biopsy, and the doctor called Monday night, and said that the biopsy showed the bladder cancer. He was so nice, though, that he found time for us to come in at 8:00 am the next morning, to discuss his findings and his plans.
So we met with him this morning, and he also scheduled a CT scan, to look for other nodules. We are waiting for the results this evening.
His plan is for Alimta at three week intervals "until it stops working."
This sucks really really bad.
He said a whole lot more....I don't want to make it sounds like he was not extremely kind and extremely thorough. I have three pages of written notes that I took while he was talking.
And so we wait.
Monday night I was so numb. I felt so betrayed. It hit me harder, I think, than the original diagnosis. Does anybody have any answers as to why that might be?
Anyway, right now we are still processing the information. Monday night, all of us took "drugs" and lots of them. Doran took a Percoset, I took three Xanax, and our son took a Hydrocodone, so I slept through the alarm, and had to be awaken in time to get on the road to Iowa City. Made it in record time, too!
Anyway, I look forward to hearing from some of you who might have answers for the emotional roller coaster we are one right now. I downloaded and printed the pages regarding metastasis, and have been committing it to memory.
Things here in Iowa were going great until Monday night. I hope to read some of the new posts tomorrow and catch up on what has been happening since I started bargaining.
Stephany in Iowa
