Post Cystectomy ED

I'll tell you this Zach some guys get all the luck lol although you didn't make the mile high club the ground club ain't too bad either that is a funny one. Regards, Joe

Speaking of which, back when I was single I was rushing to the airport to catch a flight when the cab I was riding in broke down.

I said to the female driver (who had the hood up and was looking at the engine) , "Would you like a screwdriver?"

She said, "We might as well--you're going to miss your plane anyway."

Belle who knows like I said I had that hip replacement and wasn't feeling that great. But the sad part as I mentioned right afterwards I get dx with the tumor on bladder and they said it was 2-3 inches size wise. So the whole time I am going through therapy with hip this tumor had to be growing at a good rate to be that size, no hemturia till the first couple of days of December. So it was not like I was working then out to get hip replaced I had a couple of health issues I was dealing with. I never thought I say this but sex right now is the last thing on my mind now, dang I was choking as I typed that lol. I'm still in the ballpark just not in the game now so I'm giving it time and see what happens and maybe you with the chemo were ok but I get to tired. And when I think I might wanna try then she is at work lol. Starting to sound like Love Boat in here lol. Best Wishes, Joe

Zach..i'm sure you are in great hands at USC.........I loved John Stein and if i didn't live over 2000 miles away i would have picked him to do my radical......anyway to the question of implants. Just wanted to throw in for what its worth...my husband became impotent after his first by-pass surgery in his early 40's...they did all the testing and knew that the blood supply just wasn't getting down there. He went to a Urologist who recommended an implant which seemed pretty complicated to me...you actually had to pump it by finding the 2 little nodules at the base ... and to make a long story short..my husband just couldn't do it after the surgery...sometimes he could get it up and couldn't get it down. I know this reads funny but it was alful. I also could tell a difference in the firmness....not good....good for him...bad for me. So i'm sure there are many devises out there...just be sure you pick the one you can actually operate. My husband was not very tactile.....brilliant mind...but wouldn't have known how to use a screwdriver...way beyond his capabilities......but i couldn't imagine living my life with anyone else but him..Love really doesn't have any boundries....We had a great sex life and that was good enough for me. Is this beginning to sound like "Love Story?" :o

Wow, thanks for the replies. I was just putting it out there to see what others are enduring. We have had amazing medical care. The ED part was the LEAST explained to us. Our medical oncologist is a good friend. He secured the best of care for my husband & made sure of seamless transitions between specialists. Our Uro Onco touched on ED post sx briefly. That was during the MVAC pre-sx or post sx stage of tx planning. Sex seemed soooo far removed from the shock and awe of the situation. My husband parent's are both cancer survivors. His oldest sister died @ 40 of liver 2nd to breast @ 35. Bladder cancer is my husband's 2nd primary cancer. He was dx with a 3rd primary while recovering from his cystectomy. He was off work 8 mos. recovering from his cancers and treatments. We started taking our kids to the cancer center for counseling right away. He had a bladder, brats & beer party for his buddies between chemo & surgery. The guys had a great time!! We also spent a great weekend away, alone, before his cystectomy. We are very up front, let's deal with it type of people.
In response to posts :
He too experiences night time erections. His doctors have also told him "use it or lose it" with or without me. It seemed from reading the posts, time will tell.
We weren't ever given a timeline for this part of recovery.
It also seems from the # of views on this thread, this is a hot topic. Few seem to discuss though. I agree though, nothing is better than going to bed at night with my husband, depends and all!!!!!!!!!! I know the depends is a big deal. I tell my husband his depends are our V for victory over his bladder cancer. We too have the protective mattress cover & special pads for him to lay on at night over our sheets. However, he is next to me every night!
Typo--what typo Z??? Thanks for picking up on it!
To Joe: Fight, laugh, fight! You can do this, God's speed!! PS Sex was never an issue until post cystectomy. I don't kow if you are having MVAC or not, but the good days were really good during chemo.

Well Belle this part here really sucks for me. I had my left hip replaced on 9/26 and then that was a couple months healing. Then as soon as I got over that I was released from Ortho Doc on 12/11. Ok thinking Mr. Action is ready again. Nope smack in the face on 1/6 I get dx with bladder cancer. Now I was having some probs prior to all this at times and was thinking of getting checked out being 52 and blood pressure meds. As positive as I am taking on this battle with BC I hide the tears in my eyes from my wife who has been an angel to me about this situation. We will be married for 30 years come this May they said it would never last and I have 3 great sons and 2 beautiful grandchildren. I came right out and asked my wife how she was handling this and being the doll she is she just said I just wanna see you get better. But deep down inside I know this is very hard for her cause it sure in the heck is for me. I never start anything I can't finish and now I'm on chemo. I did read where if you are feeling ok there is always touching but to me that is like having an appetizer and no dinner lol (not really) >. It's a difficult thing to deal with but in 30 years we had our fun and I am fighting to beat this and hopefully get back in the game somehow. All I can do now and I told her this I am thankful for all the good times we have shared together and this ain't over yet doll. But it sickens me that I the man I was right now can not fullfill her needs. But as important as sex is I think we both came to terms if I don't fight and beat this then what life will I have. I know in my heart if the shoe were on the other foot I would think I would do the same for her because I love her. Man I hate this topic but unfortunately it is reality such as having bladder cancer and I have always laid my cards on the table. Praying To Get Back Up, Joe