New bag man needs support.

Thanks every one.
I dont even know what to say...I dont even like the term "bag man"
I am not me...not sure how to describe it but I am not me.I feel pretty good physically but inside just getting worse.

Bernie

oops double post.

Fishtown Boy,
I do not feel I have ever felt "My Old Normal" since my surgery. I give myself permission to feel bad for what I loss with the diversion and the hassle it causes me in my everyday life. I was able to accept that my "New Normal" would be different. Even though there were times when it was frustrating and challenging, I accept the situation.

The one part that never goes away is the constant reminder that I had bladder cancer. Every time I "leak my bag", there stuck to my abdomen is a reminder that I am different then I was before.
However, I choose to use openness and humor in telling people that some of my "New Normal" is better then other's "Old Normal". My 9 year old daughters love to use the word, “gross dad” whenever I share how my “New Normal” is better then there normal.

Please feel free to share what part of this you are not sure is worth it.

Rick

Hello Fishtown Boy,

Sometimes those brick walls do seem high and thick. I know I have a leaky neo bladder. When it starts to seem to tough I look around.

The world is still full of wonderful things to see and explore. If I want to hike the Santa Rosa Plateau with my kids I put on a diaper and go for it. When I start feeling depressed I think about all the people that have it worse than me. When it seems like it is just not worth it I go out and do something for someone else. These things work for me, but others have found different coping methods.

What you are feeling is normal and part of the healing process. Over time you will learn what things help you when you start to feel like that. Doctors are so focused on keeping us alive they tend to forget that they are dealing with emotional humans not robots.

Please keep posting. Others have the bag also and can help you with the specifics that come with that appliance. Welcome to the online family you wish you did not have to join, but will always be here for you.

Webs (Charlotte)

Thank you Webs,Melodie and Rick.
I was having trouble logging in.
Ummm yes I did have a Radical Cystectomy on Nov.6th. Physically I am doing very good...almost great.This is the start of my 6th week home. Mentally well not great..maybe ok but I just do not know how I am going to get around those brick walls. Sometime I feel normal but sometime just not sure it is worth it. That is the honest truth.

Thanks Webs and Melodie for letting me know.

Let the gentlemen know that I would love to share with him how I have overcome the hurdles as a bag man.
I am 2 1/2 years since my surgery. Life is back to normal for me. I look back at my journey and had many times when there were brick walls in front of me. Sometimes I thought it was best to try to go over those walls, but I learned that it easier to just go around them instead.
Feel free to get a hold of me. If I can somehow get his phone number, I would enjoy talking about my experiences and listening to his challenges.

Rick