Fighting depression after an r/c

I have never felt so terrible. Sometimes I would feel a little better and then I would get cold and have to lay down. I had no apetite for two months and when I ate i felt sick and even vomited. I could not even stand the smell of food. Then gradully my appetite became ravenous and I couldn't get full. My body said EAT. I was glad to lose the weight which I could afford. By three month post-op I felt great. I also was not sleeping well, so my primary physican prescriped Lexapro. It made such a difference, that I'm still taking it to this day. Hang in there better days are coming. Attitude is everything.

Thanks, you always put things in perspective.We'll try hills instead of mountains.

Ginger

Just go for the hill first...forget the mountain. Its been 4 weeks....he feels crappy...we all felt crappy...The anesthesia takes a lot out of you., Another thing you might consider is to talk to his cardiologist...since he's lost so much weight he may need an adjustment in his heart meds....depending on which one he's on they're known for a side effect of depression. Just a thought. Is he on any cholesterol lowering drugs....? I'm sure they will do a complete blood work up at your visit.
It will get better...you just need a more realistic time frame......he will gain the weight back but it will take time and then he'll be worrying about taking off the extra 5 he gained beyond what he was before surgery.
Get some DVD's ...funny movies...whatever he likes...get him laughing...get the serotonin to the brain. Chocolate my favorite remedy for serotonin...and hey i just read a report that the equivilant of l l/2 hershey dark chocolate kisses is great for your arteries and your brain!...Thats my kind of study.
Its ok to cry...both of you...sometimes it really doesn't signal depression but relief and all that you were holding in before the surgery. I cried for 2 weeks...the phsychiatrists had a field day with me...i cried if they asked me if i wanted a banana....??? I just cried out all my fears and everything i had held in to be "brave" for my family. It felt good...i never cry. So its ok.
TIME....just give it a little bit more time. Pat

Ginger like my wife even after all I have been through I have to sit there and thank her damn near on a daily basis for all she has done for me. Yes I had the cancer but without her I had no wings. It was rough on her sure I helped out by being a fighter and staying positive but she was always there. Just getting older life changes and then this on top of everything else. I get depressed and after a bout like this my surgeon said this was normal and if need be Penn has folks up there that we can both talk to about different things so hang in there. Even before the cancer I guess we can all say we had good days and bad days that's life. Peace, Joe

Friends on the forum, today Gene is having many feelings. It seems as well as we thought he was doing the part of this last 5 months thats hitting him is, "WHEN WILL IT BE BETTER"..Again as the caregiver you to ask yourself,"WHAT CAN I DO".
It isn't so surprising to me that this has come on its been a tiring, stressful,up and down 5 months. How do we handle this? Mostly its missing doing the things that came so easy before. Mowing the grass, eating a nice meal without havic later as your bowels aren't quite ready for your choice of dinner, driving his car to the store by himself, and having the energy to play with the grandchildren. Its the simpleist things you miss. I suppose it all started when I saw him carrying his golf clubs out of his car to put them away, as he said " I WON'T BE USING THESE ANYMORE THIS YEAR" He cried , I cried and we had a long talk about what his body has been through, and that we have to give it , its do time to recover. Theres that word "RECOVER". My choice of attack at this point is to get him OUT, EVERYDAY EVEN IF ITS JUST FOR A SHORT TIME. So we will go out walking, see people, not to get ourselves feeling penned in. This reaction may not happen to all those facing recovery, everyones family and age is different.This is our experience at this point. It is my intention in writing this to let you be informed that you can face "depression". I will speak to Dr. Campbell about it Monday at our 2nd post-op appt. The weight loss is a big factor, Gene see's himself as looking older than his years, and feeling that age as well. Makes me sad. I don't understand why his muscle tone is gone, that wasn't in the look out for this to happen section.. I don't mean to paint a gloomy picture, but today, "it is what it is"..Tomorrow is Oct. 14th, one month since surgery. Someone on this forum said the one having this surgery is really alone in this, and that has alot of truth, as much as I do for him, he really is the one that has to climb the mountain.I can candy coat the day hoping he will grab the options I give him for a better day, but he is the one who has to do the work.
We will continue to try new things to make it a better day. Ginger Beane
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