Thank you both for this input.
My cysto went well this time with sedation, and included a sample for biopsy of bladder wall. Mine is Non invasive, no suggestion of invasion of bladder wall, but two high grade tumors. The MD wanted to also get biopsy of wall since we were using sedation, why not also get this. I do not yet have biopsy results but am feeling good. I am 64 y.o. and live in Los Angeles area and I am at a good hospital/med group. Clearly my challenges are more psychological/emotional than physical/medical, due to trauma over the initial cysto for which I was not prepared (I dropped that MD after cysto).
I have found Ativan helpful for BCG anxiety, which is mostly my problem due to some trauma over the initial cysto, and am trying to see treatment as something more than invasion, indeed assault, actually good for me. The side effects of the first 6 BCG have been pretty easy, and temporary for the first two days following infusion of BCG.