Sara Anne,
I can't thank you enough for your informative reply. After reading your answers yesterday, I sat down and cried. My husband asked what was wrong so I had him read your reply. I so totally understand your words and they make so much sense. I think they were tears of relief and finally getting a someone to listen to me. Although my doctor is right on with his diagnosis, he is a man of few words and I think because I don't have a long term relationship with him (yet), he is hard to read.
I'm also still recovering from having both my knees replaced at the same time. This is a brutal surgery and the recovery takes about a year. Being basically helpless for so many days and although I have had a remarkably smooth recovery, it still takes it's toll on the whole family, My husband has been taking care of me and doing everything for the first week weeks after the knees and I've been running to Physical Therapy and my doctor for what seems like forever. I was just getting my life back in order and then WHAM.
I usually take a head on approach to everything but now waiting for the BCG to be back in stock has again put me in this suspended life state. My husband as well as our very good friends have a cruise planned for mid-March. This has been planned for over a year. While I want to do this, I want the bladder cancer gone more. I am more than willing to cancel my trip - we do have insurance. I would feel bad about spoiling part of our friends vacation but health comes first and they understand that. When I found out about the BCG backorder, I asked the nurse to ask the doctor if I should cancel my vacation. I'd rather cancel it sooner than later. It's been 3 days and I have not heard an answer. I know it's trivial in the grand scheme of things but it's important to me and it's difficult not to feel anxious about the next few months.
Any way, I run on with my thoughts. Again, I thank you so much for your caring and understandable reply.
Joanne