I believe Mr. Woody must understand - not be made to understand - but must surely understand is that he has had one blow after another - his decisions MAY be from being punch drunk!
You have the dillema of seeking to make the right decision - I will hang on to my bladder for as long as possible and I'm not sure even then I would see bags and so on as a viable life style AT THE MOMENT
You still haven't shared the CTScan results so what do they tell you in the decision making balance? How is the clot doing? Has the bleed stopped? etc.
Do they believe the C is threatening beyond the bladder? Do they believe they can contain the problem?
It would be good if they could contain the problem and solve the other problems putting Mr. Woody back on his feet and better equipped to take a long hard look at life AND THEN make the decision that WILL effect the whole of the rest of both your lives.
It is virtually impossible to think like the patient.........when I have conversations in my head (which there are many), I find myself saying........"Well if it was my bladder and I had bladder cancer........" but I cannot think like that because in reality I am not the one who has the cancer.
Hubby has had his mind set since day 1 ........take the bladder out. I want rid of this problem.
My opinion is.........let's try something first, like BCG and then if need be move to the cystectomy.
The above examples are extreme shortened versions of our discussions. I am just looking for others who may have had or are having a different outlook or treatment plans. How do your spouses ideas differ than your own?
Of course whatever decision hubby makes I will support him 100% and never look back to the "what if's". I also don't want to influenece him so that someday he feels resentful and wishes he had stuck with his choice of treatment. I have shown him different treatment studies, risk tables, and so on. I want to feel confident that he is aware of all options but I don't want to cross the line and come across as "pushy"..........
HELP!!! What is it you would like your spouse or caregiver to do when it comes to helping in your decisions?
Also what do you want your spouse or caregiver NOT to do?? :-?