Telling teenage children your diagnosis

Dear Maria,
Of course you did the right thing by telling him. Children always suspect when something is going on, and keeping them in the dark frightens them more. What you tell them (and how much), of course, depends on the age of the child and on your needs as well, but it must always be honest and leave the door open to answering questions.

Maria..i think its a good thing for your son to become a part of the team..he's old enough to become a contributor and helpmate. We've seen how many sons and daughters write on this site in support of their respective parent. Pat

Having to tell my teenage son (17) my diagnosis was just the worst thing i have ever had to do in my life!!! My husband and I delayed for weeks to avoid having to tell our son, we were just so worried about his response, As he is an only child we have always had a great relationship and are very close. My world revolves around my son, I can't describe my love for him and I am sure all parents can relate to what I mean by this.

Knowing that chemo is due to start we wanted to prepare our son for possible side effects etc. Obviously he was very emotional when we told him and he told me he was angry for not telling him in October. He said he knew something was wrong with all the doctors visits, tests etc. He became very withdrawn and we became very worried.
We discussed counseling with him and he would only agree to talk to my best friend, who is a nurse. He recently spent the night with our friends and they said he was doing fine. They are now going to have him overnight as much as they can, which is great and I can't thank them enough for their support.

We have agreed to discuss each stage of treatment with him now, he wants to meet my oncologist which I will arrange at my next visit, He came with me when I went for a CT scan last week, he is not asking too many questions at the present time, i hope the questions come and know he needs time just like we did to come to terms with what is going on.

I have said, life goes on as normal and i will still be at him to tidy his bedroom and help out as usual! He is very sporty and trains 4 times per week, yesterday he was offered a sponsorship which has boosted his confidence it was great to see him truly happy. He said to me 'when I am training it is good for me to take my mind off things'

When I asked him what he thought cancer meant he said 'it kills' therefore, we have reassured him as much as we can and said at this time, this is not going to happen!!! He is aware the next few months will be difficult.
I am wondering did we do the right thing by telling him and of course we did, but it is so very very difficult.

How did others cope with this?