So sorry to hear that you are joining our "club" but you are very welcome!
Please remember that we are NOT doctors, but are going to offer opinions anyway!
Did you get a copy of the path report? You should, for your records, and you are entitled to it. IF it is indeed "high grade" I am very surprised that you are not being treated with BCG. This is the current standard of care for non-invasive high grade bladder cancer.
I would suggest a second opinion at a place that treats LOTS of bladder cancer. So many urologists see mostly prostate problems and are not as up to date with the standards in bladder cancer care. You need someone who is familiar with, and treats lots. High grade is not something to fool with.
If you let us know where you are located geographically, someone may have a suggestion for you as to where you might seek a qualified second opinion. Also, at the top of our web pages, under the "HELP"
tab, is a list of treatment centers:
bladdercancersupport.org/bladder-cancer-help/resources/treatment-center-finder
Wishing you the best
Sara Anne