Possible Metastatic BC

Dear Rosemary,
Bless your heart. Thank you for your message. I am waiting to speak with the urologist to find out what he recommends. She saw an internist who simply said that she had an area where the bone was deteriorating - suggesting it has continued to deteriorate from the initial xray that revealed a hairline fracture.

This website is a wonderful resource as is this e-mail forum. The reason for my post was to make a connection and to find out what are the best tests. It sounds like you are emphasizing the CAT scan.
I also wonder how my mother would handle such a diagnosis. Sadly, I think she views cancer as some type of personal indictment - bad things happen to bad people. So I am trying to figure out how to lessen her worry and suffering. Thanks again for your post and I appreciate knowing that you are there to answer questions. Thanks again, Claire

Dear Cxc,

I can tell that you are very worried about your Mother. Sometimes I wish that Doctors wouldn't scare the wits out of us by telling us something they aren't sure of. It's hard to tell by your post if the Doctor is just "concerned" or he is seeing something and he knows what he's seeing.

I'm just wondering what the next step is to be? Will she have a CAT scan or PET scan? What was the stage and grade of her cancer? I assume that no cancer was found in the muscle, or she would not still have a bladder. Please remember, that no cancer in the muscle is a very good thing.

It sounds like you are preparing for the worst case scenario. My advice, based on the facts that you have given is to take it one step at a time. But, get a CAT scan!!!

I live with my Mother who is 80 years old, and I think I understand where you are coming from.

If there is any way that we can help you sort through this, please come back and let us know.

With warmest regards,
Rosemary

Hello,
I am a caregiver for my mother, age 84. Three years ago, she was diagnosed with bladder cancer and underwent four surgeries. The tumor was found late and encompassed almost all of her bladder. Three surgeries involved laser treatment. As a result, she still has her bladder. The fourth was a regular surgery to remove tumor in the ureter area.

In the last year, my mother has been complaining of pain in her pelvic area. An early xray revealed a "hairline fracture" that we were told would resolve with time. We tried physical therapy but the pain persists. Recently, Mom underwent a second xray and the doctor reports that the bone in the pelvic area is deteriorating. He is concered in light of her earlier BC diagnosis.
We don't know yet what is going on, but I would welcome some input regarding questions I should ask, tests to be performed, and resources that are available for us.

My mother will be frightened by another diagnosis of cancer. She has told me she does not want to undergo any more surgeries. I suspect that she has been having other symptoms that she is trying to hide from herself and me. The past surgical and post surgical treatements, while successful, were very hard on her.

How can I offer her the best care possible to make sure she is as comfortable as possible during this time. She has told me that she is ready to die (this comment is without reference to cancer). Her husband of 50+ years died two years ago and her whole life has been devoted to taking care of him and me (although the tables are now reveresed in our case.) My father-in-law died of prostate cancer in his mid 80's and, frankly, he was tortured with treatments during the last two years of his life. We want to avoid that if possible, without giving up prematurely.

Thanks for any words of wisdom you may have to offer.
Claire