News keeps getting worse...

Mel, I am so sorry you are in this position and I can sympathize. I hope that the news gets better for your family.

Thank you for the responses....here is where we are now,

The urologist visited this morning and said that he can not go in and put the stents in until the tumors in the bladder are shrunken by more chemo. This means that my father will have the nephosotomy tubes in longer than we hoped

He may come home today or tomorrow, we aren't sure. All I know is, I feel like I am in a bad dream and I just want to wake up. My mother is starting to say things like, "What am I going to do without him?" and to hear this absolutely kills me.

Mel you are right it just isn't fair but it is what it is so you will finds ways to adjust.
My husband had nephrostomy tubes for several months and as Stephany said I learned to change the dressings so he was comfortable gauze and micropore tape were very useful. My husband also has a stent in his right ureter because of CIS growing in his ureter and partially blocking the ureter. His urologist did the stent placement and has changed it twice. I'm sure he wants to be at your wedding and since his creatinine levels have come down since the tubes starting draining the kidneys I would think they could have him mobile before your big day. Julie

I am so sorry for all the things you and your family are dealing with.
I have a little advice for the wedding predicament and I hope you will find it helpful. If dad is wanting to go and he gets the okay form his doctors, you can always hire a home health aide to accompnay him. If he would be comfortable with that it would take a lot of stress off of you and your mom. He will have a personal aide to watch over him and be there for everything he might need. If he has made a good relationship with an aide at the hospital or someone from his doctor's office that is always a perfect someone to ask.
I hope you have a wonderful wedding day and I'll hope that your dad can be there as I'm sure he wants to be part of your special day.

Just spoke to my mom, she said that his primary care dr. came to visit and told them that the MRI showed a tumor on his hip. Why didn't anyone else tell them this??? He has been telling the oncologist that he has been in pain for a while now.

The kidney specialist said that they are probably going to "try" to put stents in but may not be able to because the bladder and tubes are distorted and they may not be able to work through it. He has been in the hospital almost a week now and he is miserable and depressed and it is so hard to see someone you love going through all of this.

Oh I'm so sorry:( . It does seem unfair because you should be enjoying these weeks before your wedding. I hope that your dad can join you at your wedding and pray for his health to be strong. And as you mention, try to keep your positive outlook even when things seem so down.