bladder cancer

He may be having a reaction to one of the drugs or dehydration can put you in a very altered mental state as can lack of B12 and other nutrients that he is not getting. Doctors never recognize the simplist answers. Another thing....hiccups that last over a few days can be a sign of a Pulmonary Embolism....not many doctors know that one either. Anyone who has cancer or is on chemo is at an increased risk of getting blood clots. At any rate he is obviously in a state where someone else needs to be making his medical decisions. The doctor has to know how this is affecting him and they must act on it. Call the social worker, call whoever is in charge of the study, GET some help. FIL is in a very unbalanced state.
Good luck
pat

Hi April -

I'm amazed that your husband and in-law family have put you in the position of patient advocate/fix-it lady. Are their any other children besides your husband? Are they at all involved in your FILs care? (my in-laws would run me out on a rail if I tried to do what you're doing. But I give you big time credit for taking on the responsibility.)

The cath, even tho' not the most pleasant thing would give some relief for sleeping. Does he want to try adult diapers instead?
As for the nausea - I have problems with it from my chemo and have found that the crystalized sugared ginger to be very helpful. Just a piece in the mouth, bite down once and let the juice and saliva soothe the stomach. I've had relief after just 20-30 minutes.

As far as your FIL not wanting to go to the Dr. to have any of these issues checked out - is it time for some tough love? Forgive me for sounding severe, but he is a grown man of sound mind and you really can't make him do anything. At the same time it's not your responsibility to fix it with no help from anyone.

I give you all the credit in the world for standing by your family and attempting to move everyone forward. BC is a horrible disease and effects everyone in a family. I hope you can find some way to get more help for your FIL and for you. This is not a journey to take alone. My thoughts and prayers are for you and your family. Please keep posting so we can help if we can.

Lynda

Yes, he has been in contact with the Dr. He is having problems with not wanting noise of any kind now. He does not want the tv on or he won't even read the paper anymore. His hiccups have finally went away. His appetite is better, but he still is very thin. He is a 6'4 man that probably weighs 140 pounds. He has had two rounds of chemo now. Cisplatin, Gemcitabine, and a new drug called Bevacizumab. The new drug Bevacizumab is one where he is in a study, so we don't know if he is actually getting the drug or just a placebo. The doctor told him he would never know if he was actually taking the drug. His surgery has been pushed back until January now. He has bladder cancer, and it is in the prostate and also the lymphnodes around the bladder. He has to urinate constantly, so he has trouble sleeping. I told him maybe he should get a catheter put in so he could rest at night, but he is not wanting to go that route. He is 74 years old and set in his ways. He has medicine for the nausea(Prochlorper 10mg). He does not like to take it though. He now has a large red spot under his arm that we are concerned about, but he is unwilling to go to the doctor. They have been contacted and told him that it could be a sign of infection, but he is unwilling to go to the doctor to have it checked out. I am at my wits end, my husband expects me to make everything better and I can't. I don't know what else to do. It is an overwhelming feeling.

April,

can you give us your FIL's full diagnosis from his pathology report and what type of chemo he is on? He should be kept fully hydrated while on chemo. Where are you located? Maybe you need another opinion or facility if he's not being taken care of properly.
pat

Hi April -

I'm so sorry that this is taking so much from you and your FIL. Definitely get to the Dr. for evaluation on the issues he's having. I'm going thru chemo now and while it's not any fun, the amount of help from drugs for side effects is a blessing. I haven't had any severe problems other than fatique and just started to have issues with nausea after four months of chemo. Also, dehydrating with any kind of BC alternative is not good. Gotta keep everything flowing. I can't imagine the Dr. not being available to your FIL in the condition he's in, but if that is the case I'd head to the ER. Don't wait and don't let him (FIL) talk you into waiting. Good luck and let us know what happens.