New Here . . .

Rayn,

One thought for your husband lets play what if. What if he waits the six months and the cancer spreads in such a way they can not do nerve sparing or the neobladder? Either is possible.

I have a confession to make. I was a lot like your husband I would have done anything to get out of having a Radical Cystectomy the thought terrified me to the point that losing my bladder was the enemy not the cancer.

I was stage 2b high grade with CIS when my bladder cancer was found. I decided not to have an RC and opted instead to enter into a clinical trial to save my bladder. What followed was eight months of radiation and systemic chemotherapy. And within three months it returned this time non invasive but still high grade and CIS. I was told RC was the best chance I had but I could try BCG if I did not opt for an RC. I was going to beat this thing so off to BCG I went and the tumors grew as I was doing the BCG. And this time one of the tumors was in my Urethra.

I now look back and realize how lucky I am that I am still here this is not something to play with. If it has shown itself to be aggressive as it has for myself and your husband it is just that and should be treated as such.

I can not comment on sexuality and the male situation following RC but there are a lot of men here that can. You will hear different stories but one thing in common the ones that regain function share is that they placed themselves in the most experienced surgical hands they could find. Ask your husband how tragic it would be if he lost his sexuality due to the fact he waited and a new tumor took away the options he has now.