New Here . . .

Hi Mike, Yes, there's something really unsatisfying about not being able to have sex if you're dead (thanks for the gallows humor, it gave me a chuckle).

It's very hard for me to convince him to talk to anyone, but I will certainly give him the links you offered. Thanks so much for these.

He thinks that if he has one more BCG there's a chance it will knock the in situ out, but he hasn't factored in that it will come back and become even more aggressive and move even faster, even if they do knock it out this time. I don't know what this six month thing is about. It's as if he thinks it's his "Last Meal" sexually. I'm scared out of my wits that waiting this long might be his last meal period.

His prostate is very healthy and the doctors say there's a good chance of saving the nerve endings. But this last surgery, where they took out the 3 tumors scared him. The healing time has been much, much longer then he thought it would be.

Well, onward and sideways. I'll give him the sites and hopefully that will shift some of his thinking.

Thanks so very much.

Rayn

Duke, Your information is extremely helpful. Why the Epidural? Is that part of the post-op procedures?

I'm glad you had a fairly good experience. I do know some who didn't and their stories are very sad. My husband is otherwise in excellent health, so I'm hoping he'll have the same experience as you.

This last surgery really threw him through a loop psychologically. It was very traumatic in terms of some humiliating experiences. It was a real wake up call though.

The information I'm getting here will help us both be prepared but I'm aware of the reality that there are the "unknown" issues that will come up. We'll just have to take things as they come and hope for the best.

Rayn

Cythia2

Your support is so appreciated and I hope for the best for you and your husband.

Best regards, Rayn

Ryan; Will try to give you as much info as i can. The surgery its self. They go in and remove the bladder and the prostate. They then take a section of your intestine( about 15" not to sure) and
use that section to make a new bladder. the new bladder is attached to the still existing ureters and to the urethra. You still urinate the same as before. After surgery you will have a catheter and three other tubes for drains. The time they stay in varies. With luck most will be out by the time he goes home
( 6 to 10 days ). I had the cath in for some time. After surgery; first 3 days good till they took out the epidural. Pain the next few days (no meds, my choice) I done a lot of worry about getting my digestive track working. That was all for not, i was fine. Went home after 10 days. Still some pain, mostly getting up and down. Got a foam wedge for my bed. that really helped. Not bad by the end of month, good at three months, Near normal at six months, nearly as good as ever at a year. The more you can walk from day one the better off you will be. I really had very little incontenence after the first couple weeks. Still wore pads doing day and depends at night. Insurance! Ryan, If you go back about eight pages on " invasive bladder cancer" MY thread Starts out at GOING IN FOR BLADDER SURGERY DEC 16. It continues until now. It's just a general outline of my experience and how others jumped in to give support and advice. There are many of the same on this site.
One thing I also want to make sure of, is that not everyone has had as good a result as i have. If you read my thread you will see posts on it from Hox. Hox has had problems as you will read. As with any surgery, there are no guaranties. I don't want to lead you down the wrong path. Once again knowledge is your best friend. I and others on here with much more knowledge then myself will be happy to answer whatever we can. I know the surgery was right for me.
Best wishes. Duke

Hi Rayn,

I just wanted to write and show support! My husband's cancer is also in situ--and I felt a lot of the same panic and worry about the fact that we might not make the absolute best decision regarding his cancer.

We also got several additional opinions and that sealed the deal to have the R/C--but not before some delay and confusion because of one institution's conflicting diagnosis and treatment suggestions. Also, the idea of keeping the bladder can be overwhelming and well, it's a rough period to go through.

Here's what I hope for you: that once the decision to go for the neobladder is made, (if that's what he decides), I hope then that your husband will actually feel stronger and even more optimistic for it. It truly is possible.

My husband and I felt that that period of indecision as we waded through a variety of doctors and varying institutions--well, that was pretty horrible.

However, once we understood...Yes! The neobladder might really work for us as well as kick that cancer's butt--well, what came later was easier. Even the worst of the chemo.

I hope the absolute best for you and your husband! I'll keep you informed as to how we do and will be thinking of you!

~Cynthia2

Rayn,

Feel free to ask away! That's what we are here for.

Mike