Thanks Jim!
You raise a great point about support. Sometimes, these folks even have the support. As a matter of fact, the only way we know about them is because of that support. In a lot of cases the person with the bladder cancer won't even come to sites like this and it is their loved ones who are doing it.
So we know they have loved ones who care about them and want them around. Kind of seems pretty selfish to make the decision to die rather than thinking about those loved ones.
If there is no choice in the matter and it has already gone too far, that is a completely different thing. My message had nothing to do with folks who are in that situation and I wish those folks the absolute best in their treatment.
It's when there is a choice and people reach a conclusion about something like "quality of life" without knowing anything about what quality of life is even like...that kind of ticks me off.
My heart goes out to their loved ones who try to get information to them and try to educate them and try to get them to talk to people who have been through it.
It's not just choosing to die when they opt to ignore the information or make up their minds without facts. It is depriving those that love them of years and years of life that could have been just fine with some small adjustments to daily routines. For a majority of the neobladder folks, there isn't really an adjustment to daily routines once they fully recover from the surgery and learn how to use the pelvic floor muscle properly.
Everyone has a choice but its hard to talk to and read updates from those loved ones about how the person is handling things. It just doesn't seem fair to those folks.
Usually (except when I get peeved about something like this) I am a really nice guy. I don't want my wife, children, and grandchildren to have
THEIR time with me cut short when it doesn't have to be. Notice I said THEIR time, not MY time. While I also don't want MY time cut short, some of us think about others and not only about ourselves.
Now if the situation were one where I would have needed my body removed and they were just going to keep my head alive in a glass dome, it would be different. I can certainly see "quality of life" issues there. Of course, I'd try to talk to folks in the same situation though if there were any and at least make and INFORMED decision.
We have mototcycle riders, champion equestrians, golfers, racket ball players, baseball players, softball players, runners, cyclists, mountain climbers, sky divers, race car drivers, skiers, scuba divers, surfers, and pretty much any other recreational activity in our ranks.
You would think that might give some folks a clue as to "quality of life"! But...they won't even get on sites like this and learn about it. Argh! Makes ya' just want to box their ears!
Mike
PS: If one of you folks reading this message is dealing with a loved one that fits the description here, please print this thread out and stick it on the fridge. Let them get mad at me instead of you. If it gets them to start thinking about you for a few seconds rather than sticking their heads in the sand and choosing death over a fairly minor inconvenience once they have invested the time in recovering from surgery, then I will have a made a difference on this planet that I would not have been able to do had I not opted to have my bladder removed. Choose life!
