Sorry to hear about the recurrences and all the travails your husband has been going through. But you're going to a great place as far as bladder cancer treatments go, and should be confident with your choice there.
Some blc-survivors from our discussion group put together 'survival guides' for those who are facing bladder removal or similar surgeries, check out:
My husband had TCC in his kidney last year which has spread to his bladder. He's had high grade tumors, but BCG seems to have worked. Problem now is a high grade tumor in the "stump" of his ureter (which we thought they had totally removed with the kidney) that wasn't reached by the BCG. It has to come out, which we are having done at MD Anderson in Houston. Once they get in they will take the bladder out if necessary. We probably won't know for sure until the surgery.
My question is: any suggestions for things he can be doing now to help him post op if they do take the bladder? Any exercises or special diet or anything? I figure whatever we could do now to make it easier on him "in case" would be worth it.