First, I should tell you to relax and try not to worry until you have a diagnosis, but we all know that "it ain't that easy!" None of us would be able to give odds on tumor/stone/non-malignant tumor. It could be lots of things. Even your urologist, who is much closer to the situation and has seen many cases, cannot be sure until a biopsy is done and the pathology report comes back.
It is important to remember that bladder cancer, when caught early, is highly treatable.
If you are near Phoenix, you have a couple of excellent options for a second opinion or treatment. First, there is the Phoenix branch of the Mayo Clinic. Also, Dr. Donald Lamm...an expert in the use of immunotherapy for bladder cancer, is in private practice as BC Oncology in Phoenix.
Wishing you and your husband the best
Sara Anne