Hello and welcome to the forum. First I have to say how beautiful you and your girls are in your photo. I know you are scared and confused and we have all been right where you are right now after first getting such devastating news. Waiting to find out the results is a frightening wait that seems to take forever.
I will attempt to answer your questions in a general way. Don't assume the worst until you have your pathology report explained to you and your doctor has determined exactly what you are dealing with. I hope other forum members will add, clarify, or correct my info below if needed.
Not all bladder tumors are cancerous, but unfortunately, it seems most of them are with varying degrees. That being said, most are VERY treatable today with very favorable outcomes. A tumor that is non-invasive generally affects only the superficial layer on the inside of the bladder. A tumor that is diagnosed as invasive has penetrated through the lining (or has the potential) and into the muscle wall of the bladder. Once a cancer has gotten into the muscular wall, it is possible for it spread elsewhere via the bloodstream or lymph system, and the deeper the invasion the higher the probability of that happening over time. (It doesn't happen in every case which is why this is just general info.) This is why early detection is very important.
After removal of the tumor, a low-grade non-invasive diagnosis is generally treated with a solution into the bladder for a number of treatments plus periodic followup cystocopies to keep an eye on things to watch for any recurrence. Lots of people here have been through the BCG treatments with very good success.
A diagnosis of high-grade means that an identified cancer is deemed aggressive and will likely become invasive into the bladder even if it hasn't yet. Treatment in these cases has to be decided with the patient and doctor whether surgical removal of the bladder is indicated at that time, or if other treatments seem more appropriate before going that route. Each case of bladder cancer is very individualized to a person's particular diagnosis and history.
Remember, this is just general information you can find on many medical websites and at this point doesn't apply to you specifically. You need to focus on the fact that bladder cancer (IF that is your diagnosis) is highly treatable.
Again, welcome and I am sorry you have had to seek us out. I am also saddened to hear about your mother. I'm sure that is an added layer of worry and when you get your path report back, we will help in every way we can to answer questions and share experience we have gained by going through our own journeys.