Welcome to the site Hudsongrl
As you can see from the responses here, there is a wealth of experience here and a genuine willingness to help. Consider their information to be accurate, but we are not medical Dr.s. But that doesn't deminish the support and technical information they give.
We have all "been there" and we came here just like you; scared to death, adn looking for answers. Welcome.
Oh.... and most important..... Anything goes here. Any question. Any concern. Any Fears........ All are Ok here. I came here looking for answers "After" I went through the full surgery treatment. I was looking for some form of relief. Found it here.
Good Luck and don't panic. There will be a fight to fight, but, in the end, the two of you will get through this just fine. Maybe even better than before.
Just work through it as a team.
Sincerely
George