Sunny55,
I am sorry to read about your tough situation. Caregivers as children have my heart. Having been in your shoes about 12 years ago I believe it is often harder on the caregiver than what goes on with the patient so pat yourself on the back.
I would not hesitate to use hospice care be it palliative care or end of life issues. I do know that some cities have more than one group and some are better than others. So if that is the case do ask some questions in your search. The workers that I have met are wonderful people.
DX 5/6/2008 TAG3 papillary tumor .5 CM in size. 2 TURBS followed by 6 instillations of BCG weekly with a second round of 6 after a 6 week wait.