How to be the cheerleader

This is about the both of you! If you want to go out in the street and scream Then who is any one to tell you not to! If you want to come on here and throw a fit than bring it on, and if you want to talk, we can do that to.
It is nice to be positive and upbeat but you two are a team so don't hide your emotions from him. Remember his journey is your journey!!!

My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer January 13 stage T2, we left our home town and went to MD Anderson for a second opinion. This past Friday our fears were confirmed and my husband will have chemo before bladder removal. My heart and I know I will be his cheerleader, his caretaker and his ears from this point forward. But I have a hard time not going to the "what if land", what if this doesn't work, what if the cancer spreads, etc.. I have a hard time not going out in the middle of the street and just screaming at the world. I have a strong faith in God and know he is with us through this journey but I feel so alone. I don't want my husband to see anything but positive and upbeat emotions from me. How can I do that? I just stumbled upon this site and decided I needed to speak out, I know this journey is about my husband Mike, so I feel guilty for even thinking of myself at this time.