Is it just us??

Thanks to you all! Julie, I know you are right and when I stand my ground I end up feeling bad that I was so hard on her....but she needs to hear it! It is all just so frustrating and is consuming all of our lives. It really just isn't fair what this disease has taken from us all.

Julie tells it like it is, Mel. What a wonderful way to cut to the chase, Julie.

Stephany in Iowa

It wasn't after chemo but after Dick had MRSA that he had a physical therapist come to the house to work with him. She did help him regain some of his strength.

To be blunt your Dad is not able to consider anyone else but himself so it is up to you and your sister to see that your Mom gets taken care of. This may mean accepting that there will be anger and a confrontation. Stand your ground and tell that your Mom cannot do it all. Avoiding anger will not help in this case.

Hi Mel, My husband had chemo for lymphoma and the chemo really did a job on his legs. (nerve damage) they were very very weak. He didn't do pt but we started out with me helping him to walk. Every day we pushed alittle harder. My husband has a constrution comp and was used to being very strong ,so this was hard on him being so weak. It was slow going but he is doing alot better now.It has been 8 months since the last treatment.I understand the part about your parents not wanting people in the house, I didn't want the fireman in my house and it was on fire. It about killed me to let strangers in to hall all my belongings away to be cleaned. But now I am getting used to it. Maybe your dad is embaressed about strangers see him this way. Your guys are in our prayers. Rocky

My father's medical expenses are all paid by workers comp. so they have been able to get whatever they need. I don't think it will be an issue of the cost. It is more an issue of getting them to accept the help. He doesn't want anyone else taking care of him and thinks my mother can do it all herself. He is very depressed, so that doesn't help. (he is on meds for this also).

Has anyone else had any experience with physical therapy to help gain strength after chemo? I am trying to get them to be open to this and hopefully see that it won't be so bad to have someone come into the home. I just have to be very careful with how I present it because they get very angry.

Who doesn't want the help.....Mom or Dad or both? I remember when my Mother fell and broke her shoulder while living down in Florida with my Dad and of course it was her right shoulder and she was right handed. My mother called me in Ohio 3 days after she was home in tears because she was still in her hospital gown...it was dirty.....she was dirty....she couldn't do anything for herself and my father was pretty much useless. I just told her she was getting help.......period. I called her doctor and told the nurse what was going on. They arranged for a home health care nurse to come out every day to help her bathe and teach her tricks on how to change her gown..velcro goes a long way. I don't know what it is...the loss of independence...the embarassment of your children being your caregivers.........WHAT?...But you do need to take over. The doctors office will know a reputable agency to call and if he needs physical therapy which it sounds like he does they will send someone for that.
Mom and Dad need to understand this is a potentially catastropic situation. He needs to get out of bed.....there are medical supply houses where you can rent a walker.. or a wheelchair. He really needs some help here.....
Pat