I need some advice/opinions.....

Clara, I think you have a good plan. Tell the urologist that you want him to focus on the urological issues and that the oncologist will discuss the course of the disease with you. The nurse will be able to pass on the information to the Dr. prior to the Doctor coming into the room. Julie

Clara,
It is so important Bob gets any news that pertains to his present situation in a sensitive delicate way as you wish. I was faced with a similar situation after Gene's first turb,,I had all the info, Gene did not know as he was drugged still when the surgeon saw him. I kept it to myself for 3 days( OVER THE WEEKEND) then asked to come in for an appt. to tell him, in case questions were asked.
This is just my opinion, I would call the Doctor that you are more comfortable with, discuss it with him, and set up the appt. to hear what he needs to hear just from him. Its to insensitive for someone to just blurt out info without considering the patients mind set. Why mention hospice if its not important at this minute, what do you think? Ginger

Bob will be seeing the urologist tomorrow and will have the cath. changed.
We were not real happy with the first urol. we had so when he had to go back to one about 3 mon. ago we asked for a new dr.
This dr. is very thorough but the bad side manner is so awful. All he did that day was keep referring to the bad progonasis, told us the bladder has no feeling. I finally caught him out in the hall and asked about the bad prog.--it was news that did not surprise me but not what I wanted to hear. He said we would talk further at our next appt. which was supposed to have been the next week but during the meantime Bob ended up in the hospital and we just had the cath. changed on the last visit and have not seen this dr. again. Bob was so depressed after our visit to him and I never told Bob about our discussion in the hall.
Well tomorrow is the big day but I do not want him to be the bearer of bad news to us. I know it is coming and our oncologist has all ready mentioned Hospice is in the future but I had rather for it all to come from him since he has a much better manner about him.
I have thought about writing a note for the nurse to put in the file telling him that we will be seeing the oncologist the next day or that he can talk to me but I do not want him to discuss this bad prog. with Bob. Any ideas or comments?

Clara