Just more complaining..............what is the point??

I know all to well the hold cigarettes have on a person. I have smoked since I was about 14. I usually kept it at a pack or less. I can't even count how many times I have quit over the years. It wasn't until last July when I was dx with kidney cancer that I finally stopped. I just celebrated one year of no smoking on July 1st. It is a struggle everyday for me though. When people around me smoke I want one. I have just had to tell myself that I can never ever have another one.
My husband would be like you and severely upset with me if he caught me ever smoking again. Don't think he would be a nice a you though, lol.
So I don't want the answer is but just being supportive is the best. I am ready for the whole world to go non smoking so I can go to a bar a karaoke again. I know that sounds trivial but I miss the things we used to do, go out dancing, etc. The bars still allow smoking in them and I can't be around the second hand smoke.
Have a great day!!!

Barb

Thank you Lyn- you are absolutely correct- I've given up nagging him about it - well pretty much anyway. The other day the car just reeked so I got mad & said "It's disgusting enough that you are smoking but stinking up the car really pisses me off- if you must, then do it elsewhere!" He didn't say a word but the car doesn't smell anymore. His cough is much worse- my guess is that the smoking doesn't help that either but............. The chemo was cancelled for this week again as he was too run down. He goes to bed shortly after 6PM & doesn't stir until about 9, then needs at least 1 long nap. And he isn't taking anything regularly for pain!! He just feels exhausted. He is eating well & is holding at 161. That's about it for now- Regards to all, Lorrie

hi...i am new to this site...my dh was dxed with blc in march and has been a smoker for over 50 yrs...i had tried to get him to quit over the yrs and was sure that he would quit now...he said he would quit but would do it on his own and ask me to leave him alone about it...i said i wouldn't say anymore about it as long as i knew that he would ask the dr for help if he couldn't quit...he quit 3 days before his first chemo/radiation treatment and as far as i can tell has not smoked since...at least i no longer smell it on him.
his drs told him not to worry about it right now as he had enough to deal with...i was angry at the fact that he had smoked all those yrs and maybe wouldn't have to go thru this if he had quit...my father has had 1/3 of one of his lungs removed from smoking, he had quit smoking over 30 yrs before the cancer...so even tho we know how bad smoking is for you...we really don't know if they would have gotten cancer anyway...my mother died in 91 from lung cancer and had smoked all her life...my sister died in september of 07 from lung cancer...she smoked till she died...my son is a smoker...i am angry at the tobacco manufacturers and sellers...i think smoking should be as illegal as drugs as you don't know how addicting of damaging they can be...i think it's normal to be angry at the smoking because you feel like you are doing everything to keep him alive and he is not cooperating...but he is probably just as angry with himself and fearful because he hasn't been able to quit...i know my mother and sister were both angry at themselves

i know how hard this is on you...when my mother was dying, my sisters would go outside to have a cigarette...i literally wanted to put the cigarettes out on their chests and say" Here's the pain mom must be going thru" but of course i couldn't do that.
i think it's ok to get angry but maybe not at him...at the cigarettes...or the situation... or the fact that it is such an addicting habit...i too go for walks or go to the mall for awhile...anything until i can calm down and go back to being the loving care taker again...God bless and good luck...lyn

Lorrie,
Oh let him smoke,,,afterall he has had alot to deal with. I know its upsetting to see since its linked to the cancer itself but don't love him less for it, just be unconditional and it will ease your frustration...Gene and I quit and it was the hardest thing I have ever done, we must have quit 10 times before we succeeded....he will be happy if you cut him some slack!!!! But you can still let him know its just because you care that its upsetting....Ginger

Lorrie my best friend was dying of heart disease at 43 and still smoked, it was hard and she felt so bad about it but chemically it helped her so I had to just love her. She knew what they had done to her and her familly and I just wanted her to know that no matter what I would be there for her. I know it is frustrating and so hard for you ,it was for me I just wanted her to quit ! You are in my prayers for strength and don,t wear yourself out to much cleaning. Rocky Ps can I hire you to clean for me ?

You are absolutely right Karen- that's why I just walked away & posted instead of yelling. I've known for awhile that he was smoking but this is 1st time I actually saw him with cigarette in hand............ Another acquaintance of ours is still smoking as well- He only has 1 lung & just had a grapefruit size tumour removed from the other, but says he will continue to smoke. As a reformed smoker I just don't get it. Yes, I will get out by myself today, another building manager needs an apartment cleaned so I will take out my frustrations stripping a floor & scrubbing am oven LOL- Thanks again Karen, Lorrie