Yes, sometimes people can say the wrong thing, or what appears to be wrong to the recipient. BUT I would rather they would say something. I know too many people who won't visit a very ill friend, or attend a memorial, because "It makes me uncomfortable and I don't know what to say." My feeling is that just saying anything translates into "I care about you" and I appreciate it.
SA
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
Forum Moderator
We are all in the circle together. That is what makes this group great.
At home, my wife is center of her circle and I mine. We are then the first inner circle for each other. I try to do that with my kids as well. I remember when my mother had and died from cancer when she was 47. It's about them for me as well. So I view them at the center of their circles and myself on an outer ring to them. So far, I think it is working well.
However, I have been dealing with bladder cancer on and off for 7 years already. Not everyone, especially not newly diagnosed folks are typically going to be ready to do that.
Anywho...I thought the article was pretty good and gave some decent ideas. It's not a script though and everyone's mileage will vary. Everyone should read it though and use it for discussion IMHO.
