>
>
>
>
> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
> for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In
> fact, just bugger off and leave me alone.
>
> 2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
>
> 3. No one is listening until you fart.
>
> 4.. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
>
> 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>
> 6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing
> a couple of mortgage payments.
>
> 7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their
> shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have
> their shoes.
>
> 8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>
> 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
> and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>
> 10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was
> probably well worth it.
>
> 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
>
> 12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.
>
> 13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>
> 14. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and most of that comes
> from bad judgement.
>
> 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
> 16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>
> 17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
> moving.
>
> 18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
> it.
>
> 19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ...
> then things just get worse.
>
> 20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
> laxative on the same night.
>
Pat
