Is there intercourse after an Indy????

Thanks all for your comments...all make me feel better. I know I am not alone with this concern and I doubt the medical profession is going to help me. So where to go when you want answers...back to the forum.

The night prior to getting my RC, I told my doctor to leave the vagina alone unless there was cancer...and he was able to oblidge. I wish he had given me some indication that having sex afterwards would be such a painful and difficult chore. I suspect that most doctors just don't know...unless one is married to a BC warrior.

Funny thing is...prior to me having cancer, I wasn't all that interested in sex because my spouse and I had drifted apart emotionally. I thought after the RC he might be less interested but I was wrong. If anything, he is even more crazy about me. As a result of the journey through cancer, I'm one of the fortunate ones, in that my spouse and I grew closer together. He became much kinder and more loving towards me and now as a result I am more inclined to want to please him. What's a gal to do ???

Yes, I recognize I'm extrememly lucky to be alive and doing so well and yet I feel there must be some way to overcome this last concern. My nurse friend did tell me about using an estrogen cream but she said there is a risk of cancer...as my family doctor also warned me about...so that is why I have shyed away from that idea.

Now that I have this topic open...let's not allow it to fade into the background. If I am able to figure out how to let my spouse go the distance, without great pain to me, I'll be sure to share the details with those who are interested. Hugs to all, Melodie

She is using a prescription pill (inserted) called Vagifem (Estradiol) which has estrogen in it)

In addition whe is using a non prescription cream designed for moisturizing the lining (also inserted). It is not a lubricant and not used prior. It is a separate medication.(She can't remember the name offhand but will get it).

Hope these can help resolve your issues.

LeeH

We have shots, pills implants and who knows what else. Women don't seem to have anything.

Not very fair.

My wife has a prescription for a 'cream' substance from her gyn that she inserts 3 times a week (I think) that helps to rejuvenate the dry tissues inside and it has been very effective in helping with the extreme dryness issue (no cancer - just from aging)

Unless you all are already familiar with it, I'll get the name when I can reach her (in meetings today)

LeeH

Hi Melodie,

First off - DITTO! I have likened the post RC/menopause/chemo sexual experience to being a perpetual virgin. I have also found very limited success with types and ammounts of lubricants, as well as other "helps".

All that has really helped is my husbands patience and love. We have attempted penetration and occaisionally - we succeed! Mostly due to Smirnoffs! I have a few drinks, give my best to getting him worked up with intense foreplay, and then we try it. He used to be seriously deterred by my responses ( like being quiet or staying still while he tried), but I was honest with him that the alternative is not even trying. And he got over it!

The aspect of post RC sexuality for women was skimmed over in my case. I was told it would be just like before - as I had been menopausal for 4 years. They were wrong. I think the chemo has changed the tissues permanently.

I joke telling my hubby that the extra he paid the surgeon to get my virginity back was a waste!!! LOL

If I find a solution - I will call you asap. Please do the same girlfriend ! God Bless, Holly

Dear Melodie
Its a huge issue and one that is neither discussed or counselled enough before surgery.My marriage must have had flaws before but it certainly expediated its collapse when we could no longer make love.
I dont think it helps that urologists tend to be men and are more used to dealing with men.My only advice would be to ask for a referral or make an appt with your gynaecologist to discuss the matter.
Good luck
Lisa x

Melodie,

((Hugs)) Please let us know if you do find or are emailed solutions. There are many women who have this issue or similar ones who are to shy to write about it. I and my partner have other issues. It is one aspect of our physical and emotional well being that we women need to address and discuss without embarresment.

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