Hello Ginny... Welcome and I am so glad you have found our forum. I know you are still reeling from that visit, but I want you to know right away that bladder cancer is very treatable, especially in the early stages.
I think you may have answered your own question already. If the uro you saw gave you the creeps, he is not the doctor for you.
Did he diagnose you just from a cystoscopy (looking in your bladder), or did he actually do biopsies or remove a tumor? If he only was looking inside your bladder, there is NO way he could determine that it was low-grade or otherwise.
Given his abrupt manner and not taking time to explain anything else to you, I strongly suggest you see the other (or even a third) urologist. When you have bladder cancer, even low-grade, you will have a life-long relationship with your uro so it needs to be a good match.
I know January seems a long way off, but perhaps you can ask to be placed on their cancellation list should something open up sooner. At any rate, I would not trust this unfeeling uro with my future health. I am anxious to see what others here think.