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discouragement

6 years 2 days ago #44746 by itsamama
The bleeding has stopped, he's back on his warfarin, & while his hematocric is low, all systems are GO for tomorrow's BCG.
Thank you all, for your encouragement. I'll keep you up to date.
Prayers & blessings for each of you.
b

DH (Dear Hubby)...
Diagnosed: March 2013
TURBT (non-invasive, aggressive), CIS: April 2013
BCG began: May 2013
Completed initial BCG: July 2013

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6 years 1 week ago #44716 by Jmema
I have been on both sides of the fence and in my opinion it is harder to be the caregiver than the patient so my advice is be as helpful as you can and keep a good attitude but take good care of yourself and take time for yourself.
Sending you my prayers as you travel on this journey.
Blessings...Jean
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6 years 2 weeks ago #44715 by itsamama
Update: it's been almost a month since his TURBT.
Sunday he had a blood clot blockage in his bladder & thankfully the ER folks were able to remedy that & flush-out his bladder...as we were about to leave, he became so light headed that they took him into a more intensive section of the ER & began checking him out thouroughly. All was well...except that he had severe bladder spasms (having to "go" every 3 minutes, all day & all night. On Monday, Dr increased his anti-spasm med to 4x/day...3 hours later his urologist called...he has an infection. Today he sat in his Lazy Boy, not even interested in the computer games he enjoys & while he refused lunch, he did eat most of dinner.
Sleeping on the floor nearby is something I began doing because it brought us peace to be near each other. Now I am back in our bed most nights (he likes the white noise of the TV, which keeps me awake) & his cell phone is nearby, if he needs me. I want to be very sensitive to his needs & still try to keep myself healthy, for him.
On Monday, they'll check his INR & urine. If all is well, the following Monday, the 20th, he will begin BCG.
I am encouraging him & telling silly jokes to make him smile. Is there more I can do?
Question: is all of this "normal" or is there a "normal"?
You all have such eloquent stories & such incredibly positive attitudes - you are each an inspiration. Thank you so much.
God bless you!

DH (Dear Hubby)...
Diagnosed: March 2013
TURBT (non-invasive, aggressive), CIS: April 2013
BCG began: May 2013
Completed initial BCG: July 2013

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6 years 2 weeks ago #44688 by Flamenco.
I was diagnosed in 2006, high grade (agressive), and slightly deeper into the layer than your husband. Whilst I did not realise it myself at the time, I was suffering from depression following the diagnosis ( my children and husband would confirm that), and spent a good while, when, anytime that my mind was not distracted by something else, the dark thoughts crept in through the cracks. In the first few weeks following diagnosis some degree of depression is normal, but with support, this will improve, and the anger and fight mode will kick in.
But, like grief, your husband needs time to get over the"funk" himself and to feel ready to fight, particularly as he has already gone through a very traumatic time with his bypass surgery.
Diane
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6 years 2 weeks ago #44687 by sara.anne
If your husband is being seen at OHSU, he is in good hands!! My uro trained there. I know that difficult cases from Madigan in Washington are sent to OHSU urology for consults.


Sara Anne

Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
Forum Moderator
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6 years 2 weeks ago #44683 by GKLINE
Based on my observations from the patient standpoint, I am known to say that the caregiver has a harder time than the patient during this ordeal. As a patient I knew how I felt...... Audrey did not. She had to rely on me to tell her.... and sometimes I didn't.

If you have been reading the posts here, you now know that this cancer is a long term kinda deal. And it must be dealt with aggressively. And by experts in bc. Even those of us who have been "cured" have some "pain in the ass" effects. Mostly incontinence.

But a positive attitude and sense of humor are mandatory for recovery. Audrey used to hate bathroom humor. But now she knows every joke and even tells one or two!

I am a big believer in getting friends to gather around to help. This helps everyone. DH realizes that he is not a "leper" and the friends realize that DH is still DH.
After my diagnosis, my dad was quite mad that the guys at work talked openly about my cancer. He was about to give them all hell when I said "Dad, I had to let them know. If I kept it a secret, the rumor mill would get rolling and the rumors would be worse than the fact"

As Mark Twain said "The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated!"

I hope we have given you a start. DH's cancer has been detected early and that is GREAT! But he needs to move his gaze upward and outward. He is going to make it through this. But DH needs to engage.

Here's to DH. Now he has a whole crowd of people pulling for him.

Sincerely
George

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]
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