Thank you. I still don't know why he would have said I have a "small bladder cancer" from seeing it in the scope before even removing it and taking a look at it, but I guess that is how some doctors approach it (especially if he has seen a lot of these things before, which I would have to assume that he has.) He told me that he was certain from only just looking at it that I wouldn't need anything more than routine follow up cystoscopes after we remove it a few weeks from now. I have read about the BCG treatments, but I thought that is needed only if it is something other than superficial, low grade. I certainly don't know all there is to know yet and, quite frankly, I hope to have no need to delve too far into all of the treatment scenarios since my doctors seem to be so convinced that I shouldn't be worried. Easier said than done though, of course.
Since all of them said my CTs looked great, I can't imagine this could be anything later stage (i.e., it would have to be very early, right?) At least that's what they tell me.
Last year I had a colonoscopy since I had had a few bouts of IBs related stuff (and have a family history) and my GI at the time approached everything much differently. He said that the most he'd be likely to find were a polyp or two at my age and he did find a couple but biopsies were normal. That was also a tough situation to wait through, but I think the way he approached it was far less blunt than the way my urologist has addressed this whole thing. I mean, I guess he knows what he sees when he sees it and I did ask him to level with me and all, but if it is true that the full details aren't apparent until the pathology is completed, then I'm not sure why he would have said what he said and put me through this incredible anguish, knowing that I will need to wait several weeks just to get it taken care of and (hopefully) be able to move on and try to get back to normal.
I know I'm just saying the same thing over and over, but this is all just still so hard to comprehend and process, even though I've been assured that this can't possibly be anything other than early, low grade, superficial, etc.
I know I'm still caught in the "woe is me" stage of this, but I'm really fighting that and trying to avoid such thoughts. My mantras yesterday (between the occasional meltdowns) was "my doctors said I will be fine, my doctors said I will be fine, my doctors said I will be fine...and so on.) Been trying to repeat that every chance I get.
I have to go to work tomorrow and Tuesday (have off the rest of the week though) so I am now focusing on trying to muster up the mental stamina to plow through those two days without incident. I'm just going to man up and do it though, as I know I do not have a choice.
Here's a question...why in the heck don't they scrape out some of those cells when they're doing a regular "in office" cystoscope so they can check all that right away, or at least get a better idea to confirm the visuals right at that point...I'm no doctor but, seems pretty logical to me that such a practice would make sense and be commonplace today. I just have a feeling that much of this incredible angst and worry could have been mitigated by gathering more details at the time of my visit? Does that mean my doctor isn't good and that I should see someone else? Who knows.