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Chemo no longer an option for my husband
My husband was diagnosed with state IV bladder cancer with metastasis to both lungs in April. He went through 3 cycles of gcarbo but the last 2 cycles were really hard on him, resulting in 7and10 day hospitalizations. The doctor has decided that the chemo, which was slowing but not stopping or reversing progression, is just too tough on him. This is breaking my heart. He is down to 135 lbs (he is 6’1″ tall) and barely eats enough to stay upright. We are going to talk to the doctor on Thursday to see if he thinks that Eric will ever be strong enough to have treatment again. If, as expected, the answer is no, we are going to contact hospice. I am so scared of whats going to happen. I am so scared he will be in pain. I don’t know what I can do to help him right now other than the daily necessities as he has totally emotionally shut down. Does anyone have some words of wisdom for me?
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2 Replies
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Moria,
I wish there was some way to change the path you and your husband are on. If the decision is made to enter hospice it is done with the hope of quality of life. My family has gone through hospice four times in the past years. Twice through the in hospital hospice here and twice through hiring in home. In its perfect form hospice will have a philosophy of care including pain management, help with mental health concerns, general compfort and even spiritual support if needed. There job is to help you make decisions that make sense for your family and helping them achieve them. Hopefully leaving you in a better place to support your husband and care for yourself as you go forward.
If you have more than one in your community make sure you interview more than one. They are not all created equal and some offer services or have policies that others do not.
We have found hospice to be very careing and pain control was a top priority as was compfort. They always tried to make sure that our loved ones were part of the process while being there offering support to the family. I think it takes the right type of person to work hospice and the nurses we worked with will always have my gratitude and admiration.
Always remember that if one hospice organization does not work you can always change. You also if your husband was able to go back to treatment leave at any time.
For our family the first two times we used hospice it was clear cut that it was the thing to do. After that it was earlier because we knew that there are people that have been on hospice for years and no matter what it would make the journey easier. Looking back it not only was a gift to our loved ones but to ourselves because we could not have cared for them as well without thier help.I know this does not help a lot but know I am others are here if you need to “talk”.
Cynthia
Cynthia Kinsella
T2 g3 CIS 8/04
Clinical Trial
Chemotherapy & Radiation 10/04-12/04
Chemotherapy 3/05-5/05
BCG 9/05-1-06
RC w/umbilical Indiana pouch 5/06
Left Nephrectomy 1/09
President American Bladder Cancer Society -
They have not used a feeding tube? if he cannot eat? Or, eat enough? Any steroids?
Did you get any second or third opinions? What is his age?Chemo is tough. That my friend, is to expected.
Did they discuss pain meds?
I would go for even slowing-down the progression, for you never know, in time, it can stop.
I would get another opinion if it were me.
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