Your comment that "he just simply would like for me to let HIM be the Doctor in this relationship" I think is not uncommon. It does make their life simpler but the fact is that it is not the patient's job to make the doc's job simpler. I know they are under lots of financial and insurance pressures these days but they chose the profession. That is one of the reasons I changed docs - just that sort of attitude.
As to your uro slipping and mentioning prostate cancer. If I had the nerve, I would mention that to him and ask him about his relationship with his mother! Talk about Freudian slip. But it may, and I mean only may, indicate that he/she does more prostate than BC (which I think is very common in a general uro practice). You can ask a nurse or the front desk, which docs in the office do the most (or only) BC? My first doc did BC but his main thing was kidney cancer and he suggested initially I consult with one of his partners who just does BC (incl. unfortunately lots of RCs). I clicked w/ Doc #2 and after worrying about switching, just did it.
If you ever want to talk on the phone about doctors and their care and feeding, let me know. I have lots of experience due to mother's 10 year history of hospitalizations, nursing homes, etc. I also have close friends and family who are docs (but no uros or oncologists) and we talk about this stuff as much as they will let me.
11 years 10 months ago - 11 years 10 months ago#19246by Rosemary
You bring up a good point about clicking with your Doctor after all, this is going to be a long haul relationship.
As for myself, I can't say that my Doctor and I have clicked right off the bat. The truth is that I was dumped on him when my Diagnosing Doctor left the practice and moved away. Neither my Doctor nor myself had a choice in this matter and because he wasn't with me in the beginning and I was never sure that he wanted to take me on to begin with we have this awkward thing going on. Not only that, yesterday, he made a Freudian slip and referred to my cancer as being of the prostate!! Perhaps this is a sign:huh:
Anyway, I decided yesterday, that I would just hang it all out on line with him, and I started at the beginning of my story, over 8 years ago when I first saw a steady stream of blood falling into the toilet and got simply a clean catch at the Urology Clinic, told it WASN'T my bladder, and then go pooh poohed out of the Urology Clinic. I took my story up to the point of the diagnostic confusion over my pathology reports. I think he only understood half of what I was trying to say to him, but at least he listened. As I was leaving, I thanked him for letting me talk so thoroughly.
In my circumstance, I think it is going to take a while to really meet this Doctor face to face, so I've decided to hang in with him for the while. I'm starting to get the distinct impression, though, that his expertise is with the prostate so this is something that I will need to consider in the future (in case of recurrance, which he said we would deal with "up front")
However, so far, so good, and no diasasters or anything...
I got the feeling yesterday that he just simply would like for me to let HIM be the Doctor in this relationship.
It sure is nice to talk this out here.
I love these new smilies....
Age - 55
T1 G3 - Tumor free 2 yrs 3 months
Dx January 2006
...and don't worry about stepping on the doc's toes. I have worried about that some in past few weeks and finally changed uro's (within same group) due to communication issues with original doc - he answered "yes" or "no" or "don't know" to most of my questions when what I needed (and told him I needed) was for him to tell me the questions I should be asking. So I talked to my longtime GP and GP's nurse (they have different perspectives) who insisted that I continue with someone I liked and communicated well with. They especially assured me that almost all surgeons have good egos and can withstand criticism and that Doc #1 would not "take it out on me" if he still had to do my cysto's after my switch to Doc #2.
As we all hear, and have to believe, is that it is our body and our life that is at issue. If some doc has a problem with that, he is probably not the right doc for us.