I first posted here two weeks ago about my dad and his metastatic bladder cancer. The days since then have seen a steady decline in my dad's condition. He has been hospitalized for the last week. We noticed blood in his urine Friday, the 6th. We were at the ER that Friday night and again on Saturday night. On Sunday, he was admitted. A week ago, he could walk (shuffle is more like it) with a walker. He hasn't walked since then. It requires two people (two young, strong people) to help him move up in bed, come to a sitting position, etc. He has lost control of his bowels. He is totally coherent at some times...but, more and more often he is confused and disoriented. Some days he sleeps 19-20 hours! Often he seems to be asleep with his eyes open. He sort of half-stares at the ceiling...but doesn't really look at anything. When you talk to him, many times you must speak his name several times before he appears to hear you or be drawn into a conversation. Nearly all of the time that he is asked a question (and this could be something as simple as, "Are you tired? Are you comfortable? Do you want a drink of water?), he says, "I don't know." His feet are swollen and look like they are turning yellow. He has lost the use of his left arm and leg. In the past three weeks you cannot imagine how much things have changed! My dad is dying and it is breaking my heart.
It looks like we will be opting for hospice if/when he is released. We had thought that we would be able to manage home hospice (with help from an outside, home health aide), but the decline in just the past two days has made us wonder if we will be able to handle things at home. We will talk to the people at hospice tomorrow to discuss this dilemna. My poor mother is exhausted, stressed to the max, and heart-broken. My dad has always been such a proud man. This is no way for anyone to die.
Robin
