Hello all! I really don't have anything new to report, so I guess I am just thinking out loud. Forgive me if it bores you! So far so good here. Mama is going strong. She makes the very most of every day. In fact, she could run circles around me I think. This week she has picked more cherries (from the back of a flatbed truck), planted more tomatoes, and gone to Kentucky to make her rounds in the Amish community there. They go there often and have made lots of friends. She gets frustrated with us sometimes when we "baby" her. I try not to, but I worry that she will over do it. I mostly keep it to myself, but my sister and Dad fuss over her and it gets under her skin. I have to admit that while she looks well, I often wonder what the cancer is doing and where it has gone. I keep telling myself not to think about the negative. So why do I? I don't know. I think about negative stuff mostly at night when I can't sleep, or sometimes if I hear a siren and listen to see if it is coming our way. I think about things like when will it get bad, how fast will it get bad, etc. Again, I don't know why I can't just leave it alone. Then, I feel guilty for thinking about it. I feel like I shouldn't think about it because it, because that my thinking about it is so wrong. I should be positive. I know this. One thing she has started doing is comments like "if I'm still around". She doesn't mean it in any way but realistically, but it makes me cringe every time. Anyway, of course I don't want anything to change from the way things are right now, but it is inevitable. Sometimes I think it would just help if we knew what to expect, but I know that isn't possible. I can't help but think the doc in January saying "a year". This is month 6. I know everyone is different and God is the onein control, so why do I feel like we are going to begin the downhill soon?
