Bob's Wife- I'm not handling this well

Stephany
My husband is also 71 and the doctor said that the fact he was in pretty good shape for his age has helped.


Good Luck
Clara

Lorrie,
Sounds like Bob is somewhat in shock to all thats happened to him. Emotionally no one prepares you for the change about to take place therefore the end result sometimes a surprise, handling all this , feeling bad the whole time, the depresstion doesn't surprise me, it sounds extreme, I am sure the hospital has the whole group of pherapists for the situation. The Cleveland Clinic offered my husband help for his minor depression, but his surgery went well, it was just a case of accepting everything and seeing himself feeling better. Bob Hasn't seen any of that, another bump in the road, so for him he doesn't see any good right now. I will pray the two of you get in a better place with recovery, so glad to hear from you, just sad its not better news. Ginger

Hello all- Thanks again fro your continued concern over Bob. At this time he is still in the CCU, although he is cleared to go to the step-down unit as soon as a bed becomes available. He is making progress & the counts are improving but now he is dealing with depression/post-traumatic stress. Just wondering if anyone else is dealing with these issues & how you are doing. I'll check in later. Best Regards, Lorrie

Andrea,
I had thought too that the outside bag may have been the way to go for your dad. I am surprised they did the neo with his diabetic situation. About his care, I think if mom isn't up to it you may get outside sources for both of there piece of mind. Your dad deserves good care and nothing but, he has been through alot and has some to go before feeling somewhat normal again. Get him back on his feet even if it means hiring full time RN'S, HE DESERVES IT...Ginger

Andrea your dad should have no affect on anyone getting surgery here. I'll tell you since I joined in Jan. I have noticed alot of changes. People talking about what procedure they want and back and forth about diversions and the procedures. My theory is pick a good hospital and the best surgeon you can find if you need surgery then just go do it. You can talk things over with the surgeon about things you have on your mind and get your answers right there. Pick your diversion have a backup in case something does not go right and let your surgeon know. You can get ideas here or share but ultimately you are the one that has to make the decision. On the other issue some people will vent and say whatever they feel like saying, others won't say anything unless they have something nice to say, and then you have the ones that are just plain quiet. Everyone was raised different. Joe

More Update:

Dad scared us again yesterday, with high fever, heart rate and bp. His blood cultures came back positive with a gram positive cocci, but the organism hasn't been identified beyond that...hopefully not VRE or MRSA! Should get those results today. He had the most fantastic nurse yesterday, who actually talked to me like a colleague and shared results with me, which was nice. Dad is still acting quite stoic and she was pretty good about encouraging him to take morphine...not sure why he is so against it.

They changed antibiotics to meropenum, a bigger gun,and hopefully after the results today they will know that they have the right one. His fever still shoots up every 4 hours, which causes most of the signs we are seeing, and tylenol does help to bring it down, so he is getting that every 4 hours regardless.

Just a quick update for now, the nurse said this morning he is "slowly" improving...stress on very slowly.

Anyway, thanks for listening everyone. By the way, for those of you waiting for surgery...I hope this isn't scaring you too much. Remember my dad is a highly uncontrolled diabetic (who I think they should have kept on insulin for the recovery phase) and this is what is compounding his issues. I also firmly believe that he was not a true candidate for the neobladder for this and a few other reasons. He has also not received the best of care...so please continue with your positive attitudes prior to your surgeries...most of the people had no, or very minor complications!

andrea