So sorry to hear your story. Ed is right....when these things occur in men they automatically think "bladder cancer." If it is a (young) woman, they have lots of other things they suspect.
Don't give up on the entire medical community....there are some wonderful docs out there. But you are absolutely right to pick up your files and find one with a little better patient care facility.
Your urologist should have discussed the entire situation with you. You should have a copy of the pathology report. It is SCARY to be told you have cancer!!
As Ed mentioned, the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix is a good place. In addition, one of the experts in bladder cancer, Dr. Donald Lamm, is now in private practice in Phoenix
www.bcgoncology.com/
I realize that it is a bit of a drive to Phoenix, but you do deserve the very best!!
Good luck to you
Sara Anne