Sonya,
Best of luck and let us know as soon as you can how things go.
My choice was cystectomy right off the bat. I'm glad I made that choice. I'm not sure where your doc got the info that bladder sparing was equal to RC because that's not what I find in the research.
Talk to lots of women who have had different urinary diversions if you can. There are pros and cons to each and there are more complications with women due to a shorter urethra than men for neobladder. However, it seems that many women have had great success with it as well. Based on what I've read, if I were a woman, I'd probably have opted for the indiana pouch with attachment to the naval. (But I'm not a woman and I didn't opt for that so take it with a grain of salt).
Best of luck to you!
Mike