Chris and others,
I have mentioned previously a couple books that I've found helpful in the process of dealing with my cancer, some I've found more recently and I try to suggest the ones I think could be useful to others. Probably the first book I purchased after learning I had bc, and it's titled CANCER 50 ESSENTIAL THINGS TO DO, by Greg Anderson. It's written by a man who was given one month to live because of metastisizing lung cancer, but instead of giving in to the doctors prognosis he started looking for people who had been given the same prognosis and what they did to keep themselves alive. It's easy to read as you don't necessarily have to read start to finish, just what looks interesting at any particular time. There's another book and its title is THE GUIDE TO LIVING WITH BLADDER CANCER by Mark P. Schoenberg, M.D., along with others from the Johns Hopkins Genitourinary Oncology Group. This book is written so the average patient can understand any particular diagnosis of bc better and read about the options there are for treatment, and it could also help someone put into words a particular question they need an answer to that might not be found in the book. The more knowledge one has the better it is for you and your doctor/surgeon/oncologist, it puts you closer to a level playing field in terms of understanding.
There is another thing I've shared with many on this site, and that's the use of deep breathing as a reliever of stress and additionally it helps your immune system to work better (according to Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen in their book YOU -- THE OWNER'S MANUAL). If you're interested in learning the specific technique they describe from their book, I've included it in a previous post of mine and you can find it under the topic " " and it's the 8th post under a subject by Whitlo. I'll be coming back and giving you the exact location after I post this message, as at the moment I can't remember where it is exactly.
I hope some of this information I share with you today may be of some help while you're dealing with your husbands current situation, he's possibly still in the anger/denial mode and it might take some time to move further into accepting this and hopefully wanting to fight it. I do hope he'll listen to you when you give him some of the information myself and others have shared with you, and I hope he'll realize it's not time to give up, instead it's time to get moving.
Those prayers keep being sent up for you from many of us here on this site, and others you both know personally I'm sure as well. God Bless.
Lou Graham
Ps. I think I remember you mentioning your husband being a very physical person, and I just wanted to write that I've heard of others returning to very physical lifestyles. There's always the possibility that through this experience he might find an entirely new focus in his life, and it might actually be better than what he's doing now. You never know until you try, but you do have to try.