Hi,
I just wrote a nice long reply but accidentally deleted it when trying to correct a type-o.
The short version is that I think I understand some of what you are going through. My husband's cancer recently returned after several years of good health. So, we are now trying to figure out whether and how to tell people. We did share with close family and had the most awful response from one person, but everyone else has been wonderful. But, it is really awkward for them too because they feel so helpless.
I know that the wonderful people here who are further along in their experience will have good words of wisdom for you. In the meantime, know that you are not alone.
Hugs.