Hello Lorraine... I have been thinking about you and hoping things were going as smoothly possible for you. Yikes... you have some challenges that I didn't have to deal with. I did not have staples but dissolving stitches so I never had to have anything removed, and showering was never a problem once I got home. And, I didn't have anything inserted into my neck. I only had a little bulb thing with a small tube in my abdomen that acted as a drain but it was removed the morning I left the hospital. In light of all that, you are doing great although I'm sure you don't feel like it much of the time right now.
When I went back for the first check with the surgeon after my procedure, I still had the catheter and they did a test called a static cystogram to make sure the bladder had healed so there would be no leakage of urine. For that, they put about 100cc of a contrast agent (Isovue 300) into my bladder, then took different views to ensure nothing showed up outside the bladder. It was pretty much painless since they could inject and drain the liquid via the Foley catheter connector. Once that checked out good, the nurse removed the catheter when I got back to the doctor's office from radiology.
I hope your appointments go well this week with your PCP and uro. I'm sorry you're having these difficulties... it is not an easy thing to go through and I think the mental recovery is much harder than the physical. Our minds want to pull us over to the dark side sometimes and it can be a hard thing to resist.
Where did you have your surgery? Hopefully you don't have a long drive on top of everything else. Please continue to update us on your progress and I will keep sending positive thoughts your way.